Twilesque
by Pienuniek
Summary: Her grandmother taught her to believe in fairy tales. She was told that one day her Prince Charming would come to save her. But after years of abuse, Bella has nearly given up all hope, until the day the Cullens moved to Forks. Twilight AU, mating connection story.
1. Prelude

A/N First things first. Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I just play with her characters. No copyright infringement was intended.

I started writing this story because I felt a lot of things in the Twilight Saga were treated as normal, and I'm not talking about the supernatural things. I'm talking about clear neglect/abuse, and manipulation which is easily forgiven. I thought if I commented on it I should try and do it again but better. At least from the point of those pet peeves. I accentuated some things, to make them more visible. Other things I turned up side down because I couldn't stand them.

This story is completely pre-written, and will be posted one chapter a week. To give me time to write the sequel which is almost completely lined out, right now.

I'd like to thank Lorraine Bubblybear, for being my sounding board. Without her I would never gotten past chapter 10.

Another big thank you goes to Chandrakanta, for making fabulous banners firstly. And secondly for taking on being the beta of this story.

Finally a thank you to my pre-readers LunaDiSangue85 and Bexie Twenty-five Fanfiction.

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TWILESQUE

Prelude

BPOV

Dreams are nothing but fairy tales

If you are born for a dime, you'll never become a quarter.

You're a precious gem waiting to be discovered, never forget that.

If you look at the previous statements, you probably can't tell which of those I had to believe to survive. And even though I believed fairy tales to be fictitious, I still wrote them to escape my hellish surroundings. I created my own world where the lowly servant girl became the queen—all to temporarily drift off to happier places; of course, I was that servant girl, forced to work in the castle, sometimes even to tend to the pigs and looking the part—but the prince always noticed her and rescued her to a life so much more than her lowly beginnings.

This is a story of how the last statement became true; my prince entered my life and indeed rescued me from a dismal future.

This story tells how my future became a fairy tale.

EPOV

Against all odds, I kept my morals.

Against every previously written law, I prevailed.

I learned I didn't have to be alone.

I became the knight in shining armor.

I was humbled by the greatness of my shooting star.

I started out totally alone within a family.

I ended up more closely bound to an angel than I could ever have dreamed about.

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A/N Chapter one will be posted in a minute


	2. Chapter 1 Bella

A/N All things Twilight belong to SM, I won't try to steal her thunder.

Thanks again to Lorraine Bubblybear, Chandrakanta, LunaDiSangue85 and Bexie Twenty-five Fanfiction.

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TWILESQUE

Chapter 1 Bella

BPOV

_The godlike boy turned to me and what I saw in his eyes was astounding. They were the most beautiful color, a warm emerald green, but what they exuded took my breath away: all I could see was pure love._

_How could that be? I only just met him. I felt a strange pull toward him, like he was my savior. Like I just found the person who would finally lift my loneliness. Strangely, I felt utterly safe._

With a loud crash, my bedroom door was thrown wide open and my father stumbled in, more than half drunk again, and luckily I was able to stuff my writing notebook under my biology textbook. It would look like I was studying.

"Why was my dinner not on the table when I got home? You lousy, good for nothing little bitch. I can't trust you to do a thing around here! Maybe I should go and exchange you for a whore; at least I would get some that way." He threw out his usual derogatory remarks; they still hurt like hell but were mostly expected.

His dinner had been on the table when he should have been home, but he obviously stopped at the bar after work. When I had my dinner, half an hour later, I had covered his and put it in the fridge. No, I didn't throw it out, which I probably should have done.

The man not worthy to be called my father still stood wobbling in my room; oh, he probably had enough attention span to wait for an answer. I looked at the clock—half past ten—sighed, looked at him for the first time, and asked nicely (sarcastically), "Would you still like me to warm your dinner? It's in the fridge waiting for you."

He looked at me dumbly; oh dear, he was further along than I thought. I stood up, grabbed my toiletries, and moved around him towards the bathroom. I'm glad he was so slow enough now that I could glide smoothly past without him grabbing my arm. I left him in my room reluctantly, but I had to shower before he would pass out on the bathroom floor. In the morning, I would probably have to forgo the bathroom, never happier that the previous owner of the house had put in a downstairs toilet.

Once in the bathroom with the door safely locked, I had time to muse again on my life. Born to teenage parents who had to marry because I was coming, the first five years of my life I was relatively happy, although my mother was never interested in doting on me, and the perpetual rain here in Forks also didn't help with her idea of a good life. She left when I was five, leaving my father while he was on a nightshift so he could not stop her. My father was a police deputy then; he had somewhat good prospects on becoming the next Chief of Police.

When his wife left him, my father turned into a bitter man. He blamed me for my mom's disappearance and started drinking. Now, twelve years later, he blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life, including him never qualifying for Chief. From the ripe old age of eight, he forced me to do all the chores except groceries, and when I was big enough to stir a pot with the aid of a stepstool, I was forced to have his dinner and breakfast ready on time as well. I was resigned to be his personal slave for eternity, because who would want me? Without the resources to buy my own clothes, all I had were two threadbare jeans and six hoodies, also fraying on the edges. I had one pair of worn sneakers with holes in the soles, but that was an expensive buy, and I hadn't saved enough of the meager household money Charlie gave me. My hair was long because I simply couldn't afford going to the hairdressers'. This way I could trim it myself.  
So, I didn't think I would get away from him soon, but I could dream about it, and that is what I did.

The library computers had helped me to apply for every scholarship I remotely qualified for. I wanted to go to college, study literature, and become a writer. I scoffed at myself; yeah, as if any of those things would want me. Inside, I was fierce and fearless, but it never came out. I was a weak wallflower, bullied not only by my peers but the worst were my parents.

The three times a year my mom called were solely for her to put me down, telling me how I ruined her life and how I would never achieve anything good at all. I was alive to be forgotten, not loved. And then there was Dad: bitter, drunk, and if he wasn't neglectful he was callous and mean. I preferred the neglectful dad. Then I could do as I liked. The mean one was always too close to physical abuse. It happened only a few times; he hit me so hard it left more than bruises and he was too careful not to hit me in places anyone could see. My lower back and the back of my legs bore the brunt of the abuse. He valiantly tried to break me, but, due to my gran, he never had. I just endured while nurturing my inner strength, as hard as that sometimes was.

I escaped in my writing, my dream world; sometimes it seemed like some elements of my writings, or should I say dreams, came true. Maybe I was secretly a bit supernatural, because I sure as hell didn't fit into the normal world. Forced to mature, I could do nothing but despise my peers. They were just too childish to even try to form bonds with. Not able to buy the latest fashion, I didn't fit in anyhow, and was frequently the laughingstock of the entire student body of Forks High. Not that _that_ were a lot of people. Forks was a very little community. My entire junior year had about 40 students, including the airheads held back a year.

Because I wanted to go to college, I had to work my ass off to keep my grades high, especially because of the extracurricular requirements placed on a lot of the scholarships. Due to my enslavement by Charlie, I couldn't work or do community service. I helped a lot in the school library and received extra credit for that. Mrs. Cope, the school administrator/librarian, had taken pity on me, the plain and unassuming daughter of a cop. She knew I had to be at home when my dad's schedule said day shift or earlies. But on the evening and nightshift days I could go and help her out. Never at the checkout desk though. She had me cataloguing and putting books back. The library was my sanctuary. I was the only person allowed to eat lunch there. That way I had an hour long reprieve from my relentlessly cruel peers.

While I was thinking everything through, I had finished my ablutions and was ready to go to sleep. Charlie had earlies this week and his breakfast had to be ready at 5:30am. This meant I had to be up and running at 4:30am at the latest. When I had Charlie out of the house, I would take another nap.

It looked like I would be lucky in the morning; Charlie had passed out in the upstairs hallway, waiting for me to come out of the bathroom. If he didn't wake up before me, hopefully I could wash myself in a bathroom.

Before I snuggled in the ragged blanket on my bed, I re-read the chapter I had been writing on, a chapter triggered by the massive gossip in town: the Forks Hospital had snagged a prize, a general surgeon with specialties in OBGYN and Orthopedic Surgery. How a young doctor could have that many fields was astounding. Even more astounding was the fact that he had a big family.

He and his wife fostered and/or adopted troubled children. They had five of them living with them now. Tomorrow would be their first day of school and, while I was helping Mrs. Cope, I had seen their ages. Two of them were my age, 17, and the other three were older, two were 18 and twins, and the eldest was 19, almost 20, but had suffered illness and was now a senior.

Rumors were running rampant as the five siblings were spotted grocery shopping and it looked like they had formed couples between themselves. Well, good for them, they would have safety in family, no sluts or playboys to deal with.

My thoughts went out to the only single of them all; it was a boy, and somehow that sparked my dream world into a new chapter of meeting the boy, running from the slut squad to the library. And, somehow, love at first sight for both of us. I could dream, couldn't I?

-&&&&&&&&&T&T&T&&&&&&&&&-

The alarm jolted me from more dreams of the godlike boy who had fallen in love with the mousy librarian girl. Sheesh, I needed my priorities straightened out. That could never happen.

The voice of my grandma scolded me for giving up, and to keep believing in myself. I felt guilty for giving up. After all, my grandma had been the best thing in my life, until she sadly died when I was four.

I jumped out of bed and raced to the bathroom to brush my teeth, only to find Charlie had woken up during the night and was now crashed on the threshold of the bathroom trying to make it to his bed. I collected his insanely loud alarm clock and put it next to his ear. He had already several warnings for tardiness and I refused to be the subject of his anger when he had to blame it on another. Because nobody saw it, he was perfect. Yeah, right.

I went downstairs and started the espresso maker; he would need a mug of the stuff to wake him up enough to report for duty, then drive to the most remote road, and sleep his shift away. He bragged about being able to do that. He couldn't eat this early after his drunken stupor of last night, so I fixed him a box of sandwiches for later, then made my own cereal with the last of the milk I could afford this week. Charlie's paycheck would come in two days and I would receive the next meager installment of food money.

When his alarm started to blare its foghorn quality sound, I bolted fast into my room. I really didn't want to be confronted by a hung over bully. He didn't come into my room, thank god; he was more than loud enough though.

"You little bastard bitch better have my coffee ready down there. Why in the hell didn't you help me into bed anyway, you afraid I might think your scrawny ass gropeable? You wish, you take after your bitch of a mother that's an ugly pig too." After that, and some other derogatory remarks, he stumbled downstairs, and I realized he never changed out of his uniform yesterday and intended not to waste time changing today.

I set my alarm to the time I needed to get up for school and closed my eyes. Another hour of rest would do me good.

When I eventually arrived at school, parking my rusty bicycle behind the library, I spotted two strangely pale people arguing nearby. I could hear their voices but they spoke a language totally unknown to me; it had hard throaty sounds in it. One of them was a supermodel beautiful blonde girl and, my breath hitched, the other a bronze-haired godlike boy.

They didn't notice me and I marveled at the boy; he looked exactly like the boy in my stories. Could my gran have been right? The blonde patted the boy on the back and they walked in the opposite direction of where I was standing, too fast and too graceful for normal human beings. What were they?

My curiosity piqued, I followed behind them, stumbling a few times, and when I rounded the corner to the quad I found them standing with three more pale people, all of them looking around with guarded golden eyes. These had to be the new students. Staying away from the main student body, I observed them. They all looked in different directions, but somehow it looked like they were still communicating.

I saw the skank squad trying to find out if any of the males were available, Lauren and Jessica whispering furiously who they wanted to fuck first. I was three steps behind them and could hear them debating about all of them but they quickly discarded the biggest of the three males as too imposing, or let's say the blonde model-like girl was the imposing one and they looked attached at the hip. The blond guy was obviously attached to the pixie-like girl. They were staring in each other's eyes. The bronze-haired boy had a pained look in his eyes and gave the blond guy a punch to the shoulder.

The skanks were outraged that the gossip was true and they seemed to have formed relationships within their own family. That was obviously incestuous; I was greatly surprised they even knew the word and what it meant. Or not, as was the case, because only two of those five were biologically related and they were not a couple. The two blondes were twins.

I had just seen two of them move with inhuman grace and, quite frankly, speed. Looking at the five of them now, I noticed that they moved like everybody around them did but it looked staged, as if they were conforming to their surroundings to fit in. I couldn't believe that all of them were exempt from gym, albeit most of them had gotten it on psychological grounds due to old endured hardships.

I had been tortured in gym for four years, but last year Mrs. Cope had taken pity on me once again and declared that she needed me in the library more. My embarrassment made me clumsy, and vice versa, so going to gym in rags was the pinnacle of clumsy Bella. I had sustained and inflicted more injuries there than everywhere else. I smiled to myself, it wouldn't take me long to acquaint myself with the new doctor in town.

I didn't understand what I was feeling right that minute though. My body felt as if it wanted to cross the quad and join the new students; I held back, of course, not wanting Lauren and Jess to notice me. They were discussing what would go over the best to propose to the bronze god,—they called him that—a BJ or some French kissing. They were boasting about having to change their panties now, because he caused them to leak, eewwww.

The bell rang and everybody started to disperse to their classes. I dared to take one more peek at the new bunch and saw the big guy move elegantly before getting punched in the shoulder by the blonde girl and from then on stomping on to his class. They were really acting! Again, my investigative brain was jolted into action and wondered what they were.

My first class was English today, so as quickly as I dared to move without stumbling, I made my way there and tucked myself away in the far back corner where I had two places for myself. Nobody wanted to sit next to the school freak. I didn't mind, because most of the time I was working on senior classes, having completed my junior ones before winter break.

One big advantage of having no social life was that I could work ahead. I had conferred with all my teachers and they provided me with the curriculum and books I needed. I took extra tests in the study hall hours provided by not having to go to gym. None of the students knew; I had begged not to be transferred to a senior class.

The only subject I had to follow normal time was Calculus. Mr. Varner couldn't explain math for his life. For him it was a piece of cake and he couldn't understand that students might have difficulty with one step so basic for him.

So, while the rest of the class was working on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, I settled in my corner with Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller. Next, I had to tackle Wuthering Heights, one of my favorites; I wouldn't even have to read it, I could go straight to the essay. I was deeply into my book, trying to understand the sad figure of Willy Loman, and in some twisted way the parallels with Charlie's life, when the chair next to me was pulled back with some noise. My head shot up and my startled gaze was met by friendly golden eyes.

"Hey, I'm Alice Cullen; I understand that you are the advanced student in the class. That would make you my study partner; at my old school, I was in an advanced study program and I think we could work together."

"Erm, hi, I'm Bella Swan, and are you sure you want to be associated with me? You won't make yourself popular studying with me. So, just keep to yourself and you will be fine. For the advanced program, the books are in the bookcase behind you and the red binder holds the curriculum and assignments. When you reach a test point, you fill out the form in the back of the folder and hand it to Mr. Mason. He will arrange the test in a study hall hour within three days." I ducked my head and started reading again, afraid of the disdain that would certainly be visible in her eyes. Those were the only looks I ever got, why would the new students be anything different?

"Bella Swan, don't be so ridiculous. Why in heaven's name wouldn't I work with you? Or become your friend, do you really think I don't know about being the freak? I look twelve years old, I'm smarter than everyone in this room, with the possible exception of you, and I'm involved with my so-called brother. Even if we are both adopted, that is frowned upon. So don't think that unfashionable clothes could hold me back from looking at the person and seeing a smart one worthy of my attention. I look for beauty on the inside not on the outside."

After her tirade, she whizzed around lightning fast and suddenly was studying the red binder holding the curriculum on her desk. I blinked and narrowed my eyes suspiciously. What were they?

"Okay." It was all I could say. I blushed red from being embarrassed, so to deflect all attention I started reading again, glad Mr. Mason started the others on class so further conversation would be impossible.

A note appeared in front of me; it seemed more conversation was possible.

_Please don't isolate yourself so much. You wrote me off before I even said anything bad to you. Look, I had a pretty bad childhood and know a lot about defense mechanisms because I used them all. My adoptive parents and siblings helped me to cope and open up. I will never bully anyone who doesn't try to bully me. I can see the beautiful person you're guarding inside, let her be my friend please._

I was stunned; I hadn't thought about back stories when I read they were all adopted. But, of course, those stories could be bad. How stupid and inconsiderate of me. The fear of rejection had me lashing out before any attachment could be formed, because I never fit in with anybody. Anybody normal that is; I thought again about all the strange things I'd observed. Maybe I could fit in somewhere unnatural. Somewhere strange. Magical even. And, deep down, I felt a bond with this former misfit.

_Okay_, I wrote back and her grin said it all. She was genuinely glad that I tried to let her in. I wrote again: _My story isn't pretty either, and I hope I'll be able to tell you soon, but it's still ongoing and the bullies here in school are the lesser of two evils. At home it's worse._

While I finished writing the last words, she was already scribbling on a fresh piece of paper. Now where did that come from? I held her notebook and mine in my hands and I didn't see her move around to get it out of her bag. Gah, I was getting paranoid, seeking strange in everything.

From the corner of my eye, I saw at least three classmates look our way, watching as we obviously communicated in a friendly way. They all had scathing looks upon their faces when the designer dressed Alice didn't write me off at first glance. Mike Newton had an obvious scowl on his face. What was his problem? Did he actually think he would have a chance at Alice? All he ever did for me was offer me money to get in my pants, saying that I would certainly would become the whore my mother was, so I might as well start.

Alice's answering note appeared before me while I wondered about my fellow students.

_I understand. I think that you are mostly terribly lonely in your quest to outgrow your home situation. Well girl, start believing in aided growing. My siblings and I will become your fertilizer, and we'll have you blossom in no time. Just watch and be a friend._

Her hand came to rest upon mine and she looked meaningfully into my eyes. Her hand was cold as ice. And again, my overactive imagination counted one more strange thing onto the ever growing list.

She was writing again and just a few seconds later I got another note half a page long. How the hell could she write that fast and still legible?

_Look, all of us were in lousy situations before the Cullens adopted us. I was locked away in a mental hospital by my father, just because he was afraid of losing social status. My boyfriend, Jasper, was forced to be a child soldier. Rosalie, his sister, was molested by family friends. Emmett was severely beaten and almost died, and Edward almost died himself when he and his parents contracted a deadly virus. His parents died of it. Carlisle, our dad, actually saved him. He couldn't leave him alone with no relatives. Edward has been very reclusive ever since, but due to his looks he is perpetually harassed by every skank around. He feels violated by them and tries to escape them as much as possible. You see, we all were or are misfits; we tend to band together. But we will always defend those in the same position as us._

Impressive, a whole sob-story family. This was starting to get freaky, so I answered short and simply.

_Listen, Alice, trust is difficult for me, please just be patient. I'll work with you here, but give me some time and just prove yourself right on all you just told me._

We worked together on Death of a Salesman for the rest of the hour, searching out the themes.

I should have expected the fall out of being friendly with one of the new students. Blabbermouth Mike didn't keep it to himself; he must have told Jessica between first and second period because Lauren attacked me as soon as she saw me in that class.

I sat in my own corner, getting my books together for Social Studies. I was nearly finished with it, almost ready to take finals for my senior year. This class had a lot of reading and recalling it at the tests. With my photographic memory, I just read it all and went over it to answer them verbatim with what the books said. I knew I had to form some opinions during my senior finals, though, so I was prepping those with old finals.

Lauren came marching over and tore into me with her nasally challenged voice. I cringed back. "Where did you get permission to become friends with one of the new students? Well, you're not allowed to socialize with them. We can't have them thinking that you're the standard we all live up to. Stupid bitch, you can't even say something about it. No wonder they have you working by yourself; you can't keep up with the rest of us. Keep away from the new kids. You have been warned!"

She stomped away and plopped in what she must have thought was an alluring way into her chair: legs crossed to one side and, when Mr. Cleary watched, she did a Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct showing of her panties, or lack thereof. Mr. Cleary's eyes widened and he repositioned himself out of her crotchline, so to speak. I didn't look at the class anymore after that and worked through two finals on the opinion questions, looking at how they wanted to have them.

Third hour was a joint attack from Jessica herself and Mike to back her up. They basically threw the same shit at me as Lauren had done and I played dumb. Mike wanted to get his own jibe in because I still wouldn't let him in my pants, even though he offered to pay, so he thought it was funny to call me a dyke.

I hated Calculus, it being the only topic I somehow lacked the brainpower for to work ahead much. I still had my own corner but was even or only one chapter ahead most of the time. Mr. Varner was a terrible teacher and tactile to boot. He would walk around helping mostly the female students by putting his hand on one side of the desk and then explain from the other side, trapping you into touching him. He talked much too close to your ear, making it a very uncomfortable experience.

I survived, as usual, and went to Spanish. There, I worked alone in the language lab and thought about everything I had noticed about the new students: unnaturally pale, too graceful when thinking they were not observed, too fast, possibly speaking several languages fluently, strange eye color, and, to be honest, Alice talked more like the books I read than like a modern teenager; she sounded like she was in her forties rather than seventeen. Ah well, I shoved all strangeness aside and worked on my Spanish assignments for the rest of the hour.

Lunch was next; with the status quo disrupted by the newcomers, I would not brave the cafeteria and went straight to the library, taking a table towards the back and taking out my writing notebook. With the almost argument from this morning in my head, I started to outline and write a new chapter, one where the hero of my fantasies suffered heartache because his love seemed unattainable.

It wasn't long before my emotions of the day started to overflow, the tears streamed from my eyes. My writing always brought my insecurities to the surface and I was safe here in my sanctuary. At least I thought so. Suddenly, the doors slammed open and somebody stomped through them.

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A/N I hope you enjoyed reading this story.

See you next week.


	3. Chapter 2 Edward

A/N disclaimer: all things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is just me playing in her pond. No copyright infringement was intended

I'm completely flabbergasted by the fantastic way this story has been received. I'm so grateful for all the great reviews. My thanks also goes to Lorraine Bubblybear for being my sounding board and co-brainstormer, Chandrakanta for the fantastic banners and even greater beta work. Finally my pre-readers LunaDiSangue85 and Bexie25 thanks for the critical eye.

Now without further ado Chapter 2

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TWILESQUE

Chapter 2 Edward

EPOV

I hated new schools, I hated high school period. Every time I had to readjust to the endless vacuous thoughts of the teenage population assaulting my peace of mind. The vulgar ideas the girls had about me—the fantasies—were getting more and more invasive. Sometimes I felt raped; Rose and I talked about it and she agreed. Even though I never had looked at a girl that way, they did, and the thoughts were appalling, straight from the gutter.

This first day was as bad as all the others; I needed a pep talk early in the day. Rose and I stepped away from the others so she could boost my mental strength; we had an almost argument in Dutch so nobody would understand. Alice had added insult to injury by blocking me ever since the first bell rang: I saw her going into an extensive vision but she blocked me and kept at it. To have some reprieve, I fled the cafeteria at lunchtime when it became apparent that I was the odd man out in our quintet.

The library was thankfully on the other side of the building, and without the visual, the thoughts could be pushed back into a nice hum. I walked to the classics section, my favorites. I let my fingers run over the titles while the stories ran through my head. Finally, a moment with my own thoughts; well, the thoughts of the greats stored in my flawless memory. A hopeless romantic, I was addicted to love stories from the start of the 20th century, the time of my youth. Vampires mate for eternity, we only have one love, and with my morals bred into me by birth and rearing, I could not engage in physical relations without that love present. I had a pretty good idea how it would feel to find your mate. I was present when Carlisle found Esme and when Rosalie came home with Emmett. And I'd witnessed how their thought processes changed.

Suddenly, I heard sniffling, but only that and a heartbeat that was very appealing. There were no thoughts whatsoever, none at all. When somebody is sniffling, crying, there should be a thought process behind it. I crept silently around the bookcases and took a look. A brunette girl sat at the study table writing furiously in a notebook, all the while crying over what she wrote. She flipped her long mahogany curls over her shoulder and I got a glimpse of her profile, and a nose full of her scent. I froze; her scent was the most intoxicating I had ever smelt. Strangely, no bloodlust was involved; I had absolutely no inclination to drain her. Even being a humanitarian vampire didn't mean I didn't want to drain every human I encountered. I just had trained my resistance to human blood. But with this girl, I felt I had to be near her, not to drink her, just for the company. I felt a pull toward her.

Oh my god! Thinking back to Rose's mating, I remembered her having no bloodlust over Emmett and feeling a pull to save him from that bear. He was a bloody mess and Esme had to leave the house until the venom had changed him enough.

The five of us had never tasted human blood; Carlisle, our coven leader, had changed us by injecting us with venom, and from the moment we woke up to our second life, we were trained to withstand the lure of human blood to retain our humanity.

He encouraged us try to remember as much from our human lives as soon as we could. That was a hard one for both Esme and Rosalie because their lives had ended violently. For Emmett, his ending was a blur with an angel in it. For me, it was a feverish dream; I had been dying from the Spanish influenza.

Yeah, Carlisle was a humanitarian, compassionate to the core. He had woken up after his change with his control already there. He didn't want to become a monster and had withstood the newborn bloodlust all on his own. He discovered that animal blood could sustain him, and the rest is history.

But, coming out of my thoughts, I now knew that the beautiful girl with the silent thoughts was my mate. I had to approach her carefully, because I felt she used the library as her sanctuary too.

Vampire lore told me that mates found human usually were born to become vampires themselves, and that their human lives were troubled most of the time. We had proof of that: Esme had tried to commit suicide to flee her abusive husband after the death of her child; Emmett had been the oldest surviving child of 14 in a desperately poor family, and was mauled by a bear when he was found, hunting for meat for his family.

My mate wasn't close to death, though, and that could mean that Carlisle wouldn't want to change her. He only saved lives, he never took them. I would change her myself, but only if she wanted me to do that. I would court her, the way a gentleman would. It was remarkable; I could feel myself changing from the brooding loner to the loving mate. We hadn't even spoken yet but the change was instantaneous.

Maybe the best way to introduce myself was as a fellow fugitive. I made my way back to the entrance of the library and banged the door, closing it just as loudly behind me, and stomped towards the tables. My girl was hastily putting her things together and trying to stuff them into her book bag.

I threw myself noisily into a chair at another table with my back to her and sighed deeply, putting my head in my hands and shuddering violently. Recalling the thoughts those vile teenagers had about me, I could easily summon the sobs of being desperate to escape them.

I sat there feeling the pull strengthen; I heard her heartbeat stutter then speed up. She sighed, walked towards me, and said, "Hey, you all right, what's the matter?"

I sobbed into my hands to disguise the fact that tears were absent and stuttered, "Oh, nothing… I just feel so violated at every new school I come to. Every vapid girl dives onto me, because of my money and looks. And I just want to live my life in peace and learn what they want us to cram in our heads. I'm not interested in sleeping around. But what is it to you? I hope you're not another one of those."

"No, I'm not," she spoke adamantly, "but if you don't want a friend, someone to talk to, you can ignore me just like they all do here." Her voice trailed off towards the end and she mumbled to herself, "If you don't join them when they bully me."

So, I was right; her life was not easy. My beautiful mate was easily dejected and felt rejection even before it was dished out. I turned my head sharply and looked her straight into the eyes—the most gorgeous brown orbs—and I got lost in them immediately. We stared at each other and I whispered, "Sorry, I was just ranting. I shouldn't presume all girls to be the same. The fact I found you here in the library should have told me immediately you are different." I held out my hand for her to shake.

She wrapped her arms around her torso, looking at my hand suspiciously, and snapped, "You can't think I will be your friend that easily, not after what you said. You should watch out and not be tainted by my reputation. You are too beautiful to go around befriending the school freak. Just let me be, that would be better."  
My eyebrows shot into my hairline with my astonishment. "Listen, beautiful girl, why should I want to associate myself with the mostly vapid and callous bitches and assholes running around here? Today is my first day and I have already been propositioned more than a dozen times by those tramp-like creatures they call girls here. I see you are totally different, so I can tell you that much. All of those gold-digging whores can go to hell if I can have one good conversation with anybody not that air-headed. And don't forget you just offered to be my friend."

A loud snort burst from the girl and she grabbed my still outstretched hand. "Well, if you think about it like that, welcome to Forks High. My name is Isabella Swan, or 'that plain one' for the vapid bitches. Friends call me Bella, or Bells, but those only reside inside my head."

"Well, Bella, my name is Edward Cullen and I'm the only single of the Cullen household. I am frequently lonely in my own family just because they all partner off. And, please, never call me Eddie; that is what every vapid bitch tries to get away with."

"Ok, Edward, is Teddy an acceptable short for your name or do you prefer to be called by your full name?"

"Teddy… wow, it's a long time ago that anybody called me that. My biological mother called me Teddy because my father was an Edward too. Nobody ever thought of it after her. Please, call me whatever you like, just not Eddie."

We stared in each other's eyes and couldn't break away; I felt the love pour out of mine, and got a little confusion and slow building elation in return.

"Bella, do you feel it too?" The words fell out of my mouth before I could do anything about it.

"I do, but I don't understand. This is my story… the chapter I wrote last night. Are you real?" She was still holding my hand and slowly looked at our entwined fingers. A slow but radiant smile broke out on her face. Without controlling my expression, I felt the same creep onto mine.

"Yes, I am real, but I think I just landed in my favorite fantasy. It's like I am complete for the first time ever. I feel whole, like you are the missing piece to my puzzle."

Her eyes dipped down, staring at the table, her shoulders hunched and her bottom lip caught between her teeth. A dark cloud of doom descended on her features and she started to cry. Sobbing, she fell into my arms and stuttered her explanation.

"Oh, Edward, you don't have to do all this to make me feel better. How do you know about my stories? You weren't even here. This can't be real; I want it to be real, but it just can't be. You are so much like the lead character in my stories it is frightening. Please be real and just never leave me again."

"I am absolutely, positively real, Bella, and I can feel a mountain of grief behind your words. Please believe me that I know what just happened between us, and if you give it a chance, it will be wonderful for both of us. I understand that, after a life with a lot of misfortune, it is difficult to believe that suddenly all the bad luck is sponged away by good luck. But, my beautiful girl, I'm not lying; I'm incapable of lying to you. I've waited a long time for you and I will never leave you to fend for yourself until you send me away."

Her tear-filled eyes locked with mine once again, and slowly the sparkles I had seen earlier made their entrance again.

"Oh dear, my father will be so flabbergasted when I leave his house forever. He thought he had a slave for life. And I somehow don't see you giving him the chance to keep that up. It's so strange; I feel as if my future just arrived, and I don't want to sound like one of those gold-digging bitches, but you can help me go to college, can't you?"

"Of course, love, I will even go with you if you want me to. Or follow you when you don't. Sorry, but I can't leave you ever!"

"Teddy, what are you? If I go by my story, you can't be human. How can you be so sure you want me when we just met? You have to tell me. I watched your family arrive this morning and you are all otherworldly graceful and beautiful. The most stunning thing I noticed was your eye color. You all have the same eye color, even though you are all adopted. Now it is possible I am just stunted in this backwater town, but somehow I don't think so. You all are more than human, and I will find out what you are."

"Even though we are 'otherworldly', as you say, you don't feel the urge to scream and run?"

"No; maybe it is strange not to do that, but I feel completely safe around you." She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I've never felt as if I belong in this world; maybe I belong in yours. Can you tell me what you are or is that a secret not to be revealed to outsiders?"

"Well, I won't reveal it at our first meeting or in a public place, but, being my friend, I will tell you if I can meet you somewhere private. You have my word as a gentleman; you would be completely safe with me. I won't try to take advantage. I respect you for who you are and I will keep you safe."

"Edward, you just revealed more than you should have done. What if I go and blab this all around the school?"

"Dear Bella, somehow I don't believe you to be a blabbermouth, and if you somehow did blab this, I wouldn't come to your house tonight to explain everything. Please leave your window unlocked if you want to keep my visit secret. I will come to your room. I know this is really strange all of a sudden, but I need you to be in the loop as soon as possible. You and I, my dear, have a connection—a very powerful one—and I won't deny it. This connection gives me the right to tell you all about my world. And you are right, you belong in it too, but only if you choose it yourself. I will never force your choice."

"But I'm not worth the trouble…"

"That is where you are wrong, Bella. I have waited to find you for a century, and nobody else will do. Now the rest of the explanation will have to wait until tonight. We are going to have company in about two minutes; I can hear them coming. Do you want to be seen with me? Or do you deem it more prudent to keep our association secret for now?"

I saw an adorable frown creep between her eyebrows, and while she thought hard, I listened to the minds coming our way. Damn, of course they would be coming my way. Alice and Jasper.

"Well, Bella, I'm sorry but these two who are coming our way will already know. It's part of my explanation tonight, but you might as well meet them now. They are two of my siblings, Alice and Jasper, joined at the hip and quite something to behold."

I could hear Jasper's chuckle and Alice's scoff at my remark. In my head, I made the decision to tell Alice to tone it down, that Bella wasn't fully informed yet, but knew something was not normal about us.

_'Interesting, Edward, I have to say you're slow today. Maybe because most of the tracks of your mind are completely focused on your MATE! Congratulations. Bella is incredibly observant and inconspicuous. She saw your little pep talk this morning; she noticed every little slip I made in English. She's my study partner in the advanced program there, so she already knows me. By the way, you have to disappear for a little bit when we come to the library; just go to the back with Jazz, he will keep you calm. The bitch brigade is going to attack Bella and we don't want you exposing your bond too soon. I will take care of it.'_

Bella looked at me expectantly and I saw she had seen something of the silent conversation I had had with Alice. Oh well, she would know soon enough. My ire was up, though, because those trollops would attack my Bella; I wanted to protect her. Sadly, I also knew that to protect her long term, I had to step back and let Alice play her part.

"Okay, here's the thing, about a minute behind Alice and Jazz, two of the school hussies are going to come in. Jazz and I will hide until they are gone. You and I will need a little more bonding time before we can face those airheads. Will you be okay? Alice will be with you, and on your side."

"Edward, they might think they get to me, but they don't. Whatever is said here at school, I can let go quite easily because I always tell myself that they are so stupid that they are jealous of me. They don't know it's much worse at home."

Alice bounded into the library and over to us. "Hi again, Bella, shall we go over our English assignment for Death of a Salesman?"

Jazz came over more slowly, his thoughts guarded, as was his stance. He told me in his thoughts that Bella's scent was mouthwatering; that earned him a glare and a growl. Bella watched me and shook her head. "Go on, Edward, the skanks are coming. You aren't the only ones hearing them now."

_'She heard your growl and dismissed it without even blinking. I'm impressed' Jazz told me. We disappeared among the bookcases to the back of the library._

"Jazz, what kind of emotions did you get of me and Bella when you walked in?" I whispered to him.

He smiled and thought back, _'I think you already know what I felt, and yes, it's mutual. It almost bowled me over when I walked in; I have never felt this from you before. Congrats, bro, she's something to cherish. Her scent will become a problem for me though. It's only because of the mating bond that you don't act on it, but I sense she smells sweet to you too.'_

Before I could answer, the library doors opened again and two girls stepped inside: the two most irritating whores of the day. I had classes with both of them separately and both had already suggested to hook up, in no uncertain terms.

The mousy brown-haired one was called Jessica; she had hitched her already too-short skirt up, pulled her barely decent top down so her breasts almost fell out, and panted to me that she would like to suck me, everywhere. I had asked if she was okay or if she needed the nurse for her asthma. That had shut her up. I never looked at her again.

The next class, I was unfortunate enough to be seated next to the bleached-blonde Lauren. She slipped me a note with several numbers on it. When I looked at her, she breathed huskily that those were her favorite positions of the Kama Sutra. I again recommended a trip to the nurse for asthma-related ailments and ignored her for the rest of the class.

Now, those two little whores in training thought they had the upper hand with Bella. Jazz clamped a restraining and calming hand on my shoulder.

"Ah, the ragged library girl, you must be able to help us. We're looking for one of the new guys. He promised to meet us here for some fun," Lauren screeched with a surprisingly nasty nasal voice. Images of me in every state of undress flitted through her mind. I was glad I looked nothing like what she imagined, otherwise I might have lost yesterday's kill right there.

Bella looked at her with disdain written all over her face, but the blonde, through whose eyes I watched that, didn't pick up on it. She thought Bella looked impressed by her vile statement. "Nope, sorry, haven't seen anyone but Alice here."

Alice, who had been perusing books nearby, skipped over and sat down next to Bella.

Jessica snorted and said, "Well, well, well, it looks like the ugly duckling has tried to gain a friend. Alice, is it? Don't you know that hanging with that trash could damage your reputation?"

Lauren added, "Yeah, like seriously harm you. The only thing she's good for is doing the cleanup after I had a fuck. Nobody would want to touch that."

Jazz clamped his hand more, restricting over my shoulder to keep me in place, because I wanted to rip them apart. I saw through their vile eyes that Bella's bravery started to waver and the beginning of tears were forming in her eyes.

"Hey, Frizzabella, you might want to replace those rags of yours sometime if you ever want to attract some attention. I think Alice's SINGLE brother would like something nice to look at," Lauren sneered, preening around.

Alice looked over the prostitute outfits those two were wearing and sniffed. "Look at you two, you might think those outfits are sexy, but the only thing you are portraying is: I'm easy, fuck me, it won't cost much. I know my brother and that is definitely not what he's after. So, please remove your overly processed hair and six inches of makeup from my presence. You both are ruining my view."

Lauren and Jessica both bristled at that comment, their surprisingly empty heads now completely blank. This had never happened to them. They always had the last word and everybody folded under their sneers.

"You bitch, you'll learn to choose your friends here carefully; there isn't much to choose from if you hang with the likes of _her_." Jessica finally found her bitch voice again.

Alice looked at the bookcases beside Bella. "Bella, did you say something? I thought I heard something. I must say I'm glad I found you. Finally somebody real to talk to."

Bella's mouth twitched and she grabbed Death of a Salesman. "No, I didn't say a thing but I was thinking about finishing up with our essay subjects. I thought of another one: unrealistic expectations. Definitely a theme here. Oh, and desperation would be a good one too."

My mate was so smart; she put the bitches down with flare, while the vapid trollops didn't even notice.

Alice piped up, "Oh, and don't forget the pathological desire for recognition." They giggled together and the skank squad stood there slack jawed, before bristling, turning on their heels and marching out. Both their minds were on finding me again.

When the library doors thumped shut, I flew out from the books and kneeled next to Bella, wrapping my arms around her waist. I nuzzled her belly and inhaled her scent. Her fingers found my hair and started moving through it, rubbing my scalp, and I started purring. Now it was clearer than ever: a vampire only purred for his or her mate.

The sound of the bell broke us apart and I was desperate to stay with her, but I knew I had to go to my class: advanced junior biology. It was a side self-study subject because not enough of the students here were advanced.

"What do you have now, Bella?"

"Advanced junior biology, one of the classes I designed together with the teachers to keep me busy. Why?"

My head whipped up and an enormous grin broke out on my face. "Oh, well, that's what I've got too. Please let me escort you to class."

"Edward, maybe we should go separately and use the class as the front for meeting each other. You see, the other students are too dense to know I'm working on senior classes right now. I mostly work by myself anyway. Alice already blew my cover in English, argh, I'm rambling. I'm not ready to become the center of attention. It would create a shit storm if you walked me to class. Please go, I'll be right behind you. You will be sitting next to me the whole hour." She looked at me apologetically and started to hastily jam her books into her bag.

I smiled at her and turned around, feeling a little dejected, but I understood her holding back. After all, she didn't have all the information yet. And she was right; if all of us locked on to her, in the public eye, she would suffer for it. Alice already stepped in and defended her, and if I'd read Jessica's mind correctly, that would be all over the school by now. I had to bide my time. While I was once again assaulted by the minds of three hundred teens, I made my way through the corridors to the science wing. The advanced class would be self-study within the normal junior biology class. I walked up to the teacher and handed him my note to sign. He looked up, surprised at the advanced prefix on it.

"Mr. Cullen, we don't have many advanced students; to be exact, without Ms. Swan, we would have none. You don't mind working with her?"

I looked at him, puzzled. "Why would I mind working with somebody somewhat on the same level as I am?"

He looked abashed. "Ah, erm, well, most students here don't like to work with her, and to be honest, she very much likes to work alone."

"Hmm, I understand. If that's the case, I will work by myself beside her. I'm not doing simple junior biology yet again if there is an advanced program. Where do I sit?" I had already spotted the little corner with a bookcase and a lab table a little apart from the rest of the class. Bella just slid into the corner, busying herself by pulling out a microscope and slide box.

"Miss Swan is over there in the corner, the girl with the microscope. When you two need to talk, please do so quietly. I am giving a lecture for the rest of class today."

I nodded and made my way over. I smiled shyly and said, "Miss Swan? I believe we share the same class here." Behind me, I heard the assembled thoughts of our classmates. They were of pity for me that I had to work with the town reject. I had to work really hard to stay focused on Bella and not whip around and tell them off.

Bella looked up from her slide box, and with a wink she said gruffly, "And you are?"

Wow, in public she had her attitude down pat. Her voice didn't have any inflection towards being nice. Her eyes, on the other hand—after all, I was blocking her from the rest of the class—exuded love and adoration. The same, I was sure, came out of mine.

"Oh, sorry, my name is Edward Cullen, I'm new here today. Mr. Banner advised me that you could help me on my way, if you're amenable that is." I made a small bow, just like I was taught by my father. I heard snorts from behind me, and their thoughts went from pity into two distinct directions. The guys thought me preposterous and in the right place after all. The girls, on the other hand, all swooned and glared at Bella for being on the receiving end of my charm. I cringed inwardly; it wasn't my intention to heap unwanted attention on her. Hastily, I sat down and turned my back on the class. "I'm ready for your explanation."

We worked together, conversing in whispers for the rest of the hour, identifying one-cell organisms, and observing an amoeba splitting itself in two.

The last hour, I had to leave her again—I had advanced Spanish—working in her corner alone. I would have to hack the computer and line our classes up so we could work together. This was ridiculous; we had all the same subjects except for the math elective, and we had only one class together. I would remedy that as soon as possible.

She had told me during biology that she had to hurry home to do grocery shopping and cook dinner for her father Charlie, so he wouldn't take his bad mood out on her. I promised her I would come by that evening to explain everything.

Being apart was not a nice feeling. It felt as if my unbeating heart was altogether missing. Even though I was elated that I had found my mate, my mood was morose. I had given Jazz my car keys and waited at school until I could go into the surrounding forest without bringing attention to myself; I ran straight to the hospital.

I hadn't been there before, but I knew the layout and walked to Carlisle's office without announcing myself at the desk. I knocked; Carlisle had caught my scent and thought his welcome to me, while opening the door with a flourish.

His mind was curious, to say the least. Why would I come to him alone, did something happen, something bad that needed covering up? He gauged my mood and couldn't put a finger on it, because I looked pained, but underneath he sensed something had changed in me.

"I have found her," I blurted out.

"Her? What do you… oh! Oh, you mean your mate?"

I let the warm feeling of that word run through me; for the first time ever, I didn't feel disgruntled at the mention of my mate. "Yes, my Bella, my mate." The smile on my face couldn't be held back. "But, Carlisle, we need a plan. She's still underage and in a very bad home situation. Her father is neglectful at the least, and also abusive for the most part. Not physical abuse, I don't think, but the worst kind of mental abuse. Her self-esteem is buried deep, but I have seen it. She is very intelligent but downtrodden. She's in my year, but I believe she's ahead almost a year in most subjects, going all by herself, doing advanced material without officially skipping a year. Alice is in her advanced English and I'm in advanced biology with her. I think she intends to graduate early to get out of her father's house as soon as she turns eighteen." I sounded, even to myself, as a proud parent, but it couldn't be helped I was proud of her.

Carlisle beamed at me and thought, 'My dear boy, finally it happened. And you're the first who finds his mate relatively healthy. Did you tell her already?'

"No, I did talk to her and made it clear that we have a connection, but I promised to go to her tonight and explain everything. I know that she'll have a lot to learn, so probably not everything will be discussed. I have the impression, though, that she somehow knows a lot already. I said she is smart, and I believe that she is very observant too. I think she picked up on our 'otherness'."

Suddenly, I doubled over in pain. It was temporary and I could adjust, but pleasant was something entirely different.

Carlisle looked at me and smiled ruefully. "I expected this; you are mated, my dear boy, but your mate still can't believe it is true. The moment she doubts your connection, you will feel it physically. When you're both mated, even only in words, she will experience it too. Simple distance will be incapacitating for both of you."

I couldn't be too far away from her ever again? That would be a problem on nights like this, when her deadbeat father was at home. I decided I would build a tree house near her house, a vampire tree house. I started designing it in my head: nobody would see it from the ground and the only entrance would be by jumping from a nearby tree. I smiled at the vibration on my leg: Alice. I took out my phone and showed Carlisle at the same time I was reading her text.

_*Bella will never doubt again after tonight, and the tree house supplies will be here the day after tomorrow._

* * *

AN Next week we go back to Bella.

I'd like to take this place to recommend some stories I read, and enjoyed a lot.

Firstly one of the most original ideas I've found

Reboot by Diana Law - FFn 622264

And The complete Angel series by Drotuno - FFn 5134656, 5564546, 6203334, 8519121

This story is also available on Fictionpad, my pseudonym there is also Pienuniek.


	4. Chapter 3 Explanations

A/N Twilight and all it's characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer, no copyright infringement is intended. This plot is mine.

I'm still on a high from all your fantastic reactions. I never thought that a newbie could such a great response. Thank you all so much.

This week we're going back to Bella, and Edwards explanations

* * *

TWILESQUE

Chapter 3 Explanations

BPOV

My head and heart were still in a tailspin when I came home after grocery shopping. I had spent the last of the weekly budget on dinner. Luckily I had found a great discount on the steaks, so I could serve steak and potatoes tonight. That was why they were so cheap; they had already been frozen and were close to their expiration date—more like on it—and I got them for a quarter of the price. Normally the other three-quarters would go into my clothes fund. But with Charlie again cutting the budget, that wouldn't happen this time. I would never get those new shoes before the summer. But still, I could not go about my business like I always did; my thoughts skittered around and around, from my stories to the lunchtime meeting with Edward.

Edward, oh dear, my stomach flip-flopped and butterflies had taken all available living space in there. He was absolutely beautiful, with the most mesmerizing eyes I'd ever seen. Most importantly, he'd told me about the connection we had and I could feel his absence right now, a deep lonely feeling inside. He would come to my room tonight to explain everything. I was so glad Charlie was on a drunk streak again; he would notice nothing.

Charlie was home late again, but not as late as yesterday. I had been waiting to hear his cruiser in the driveway and put his dinner in the microwave on high when the telltale scrunch of tires on gravel came to my ears. He took his time stumbling inside and putting away his gear. The microwave dinged the moment he crashed into the kitchen, where I had his place set up with a can of "vitamin R," as he called it. He slapped my ass, hard, for delivering his food; that was as much thank you as I ever got.

While rummaging in the storage closet this afternoon, I'd found a can of WD-40 and lubricated my bedroom window liberally; it was stuck in a bad way with rust and overall disuse. If Edward wanted to enter that way, it had to open soundlessly. The can of WD-40 was now in the trash; I used it all and the window opened when I blew at it.

Charlie grunted through his dinner and crashed in his hideous recliner in front of the television—his flat screen—bought from the child support meant for me: the money I already hadn't hoped to get my hands on for some new school clothes; the money which we could have used for a new washer and dryer. I should not dive in that bitter mindset; I had Edward coming over tonight and I would find out what the big secret was.

The whole family was an enigma, or close to it. The things I saw before, and heard in our talk, made that clear. They could not be human, not that I had ever felt close to any human except my grandma; she had told me on the day she died that I had to hold out and my fairy tale would happen. She had told me to write down the stories in my head, because they were more. I had loved her dearly and followed all her advice. So, now I had three dozen thick notebooks full of my stories, and it looked like she could be right. If they were all prophetic, Edward and I would become very powerful in his world—powerful but free—after some trials and tribulations.

I couldn't believe that I could be worth that much to anyone, and also knew that when he heard my story he would run for the hills. I hoped he would stay, that the human restraints on my being were nothing for him, but I could not let that hope take root in my system. I had to be prepared that he and his siblings had played an enormous practical joke on the school outcast; even if they were new, I knew that was easy to find out. I was generally known as the ugly duckling, due to my adolescent status and last name.

Because I didn't have money to style my hair, and my full first name is Isabella, the skank squad called me Frizzabella. None of the names at school hurt me though; they were less harsh than what I got at home: good for nothing whore, useless piece of shit, bastard slut, klutz extraordinaire, waste of space, etcetera, etcetera.

I had understood Gran when she told me I was special, but that I had to be a big girl for it to come out. The enormous layers of degradation piled over my head since her death held me in a choke hold, and it became more difficult to believe in myself as someone worthy every day. Most days I didn't even think about my worth, just my existence in emptiness and pain.

I was jolted out of my thoughts and found myself at the sink, mindlessly scrubbing a plate. Charlie snored for the second time and I realized that he'd crashed for the night in his recliner. I looked at the clock and jumped. How could I have lost more than an hour in desolate thoughts? It was time to finish my homework before Edward would come. I really hoped he would come, that my story world was real and I was to go on to bigger and better things. Taking the stairs two at a time, I ran upstairs, only falling once, to my room. I opened the door and froze; on my bed, against the headboard, sat my Edward.

"I didn't hear you come in, but I suppose that is a good thing, what with Charlie downstairs as my jailor. You're early!"

"Good evening, love, you look like you didn't expect me. I promised you I would come, and a mate can't lie or break promises to a mate. And I couldn't stay away anymore."

"Please, Edward, don't make everything more cryptic. Tell me the truth about you and your family. I know you are not human, and somehow you're convinced we are connected. I did feel something but I really don't understand what it was. I'm feeling it right now too, like I need to be near you. It's like you're a magnet pulling me, the humble paperclip, towards it."

"Bella, love, you're a magnet too, pulling me towards you. But let me start at the beginning. It's involved, so please just listen, and try not to interrupt. I promise you it is the truth and nothing but the truth. However strange it may seem to you, it eventually will make sense."

I nodded my promise to listen quietly.

"I was born June 20, 1901 in Chicago, as Edward Anthony Masen Junior. I was raised in a well to do family, with a doting mother and an absent father who loved his work more than his wife. My greatest love in the world was my piano—I played it for hours every day—to the despair of my father, who had set me up to become a lawyer. I had just turned 17 when the Spanish Influenza hit the town; my father, being a lawyer, ran himself ragged to update wills at sickbeds all over the city. My studies were halted because my tutor fell ill; I was homeschooled because I learned too fast for the schools then. At 17, I had already graduated high school and was working on pre-law classes for college. I resented being told I had to become a lawyer. I had two things in my head: music and the war. So, when my tutor didn't come anymore and my mother was loath to let me out of the house, I spent my days behind the piano.

"It was the beginning of September when my father came home, desperately ill. With my mother's help, I drove him to the hospital. At the hospital, we met with the doctor, Carlisle Cullen. He told us that the outlook was not good; my father was exhausted from running around and the virus had taken a strong hold on his system already. Dr. Cullen told us that he had probably kept his symptoms from us for a day or three. We were told he would die. My mother went into practicality mode and started to give me all the necessary papers and keys, as well as the codes to the wall safe in my father's office. Dutifully, she went to visit my father the next two days.

"I was struggling to adjust to being the man in the house and went to the funeral home to try to secure my father his burial plot and funeral. They were selling plots to the highest bidder at that point, and I had to fight for the plots of my family; they were already ours. Because I was in public so much, and my mother was at the hospital, we were both exposed. My father died on the morning of the third day, and by God's grace, we had him buried the same day, on our plot. I was now considered an adult and responsible for my mother, but nothing much came of it, because both my mother and I became ill the next day. We hurried to the hospital to talk to Dr. Cullen. He admitted us together and somehow got us a private room together. He was convinced that the mass of beds and cots in the public wards only helped the sick to become the dying. Nobody but him came into the room. He had somehow taken a liking to us and was our only caretaker. He had to go and care for others but stayed his off hours in our room.

"My illness progressed aggressively, and soon I was unconscious more often than not. I found the doctor and my mother deep in a whispered discussion; these memories are hazy to me, fevered deliriums I thought them to be at the time. I heard my mother plead with the doctor to save me any way he could. She didn't mind if he wasn't human, or that I would become inhuman; I just had to live. She knew; she had seen the girl for me and she was certain it was in the far future, because the girl had worn cowboy trousers and really strange shoes, just like you're wearing now: jeans and sneakers. I had to find you. Dr. Cullen was very hesitant towards her, but all the stress and the worries about me weakened my mother. He told her he would try to find a way to make it happen.

"We were in the hospital for a week when my mother died, and I gave up. I thought I didn't want to live without her. Carlisle—he really had become a friend—took care of her funeral and told me she was in the family plot; he had buried her himself, evicting some others to the communal graves. He told me later he had made it look like both our plots were used. Until after the epidemic, they stayed without headstones.

"The next morning, he came into my room, which was actually his office, his way to keep us separated from the masses. He came in and told me I was dying fast. He could stop it but I had to become like him. He explained what he was: a vampire, but a humanitarian vampire. Yes, he needed blood to survive but because he valued human life, he only drank from animals. He also told me that he had been alone since his change in the mid sixteen-hundreds. Because he had trained his control, he could withstand the urge to drain a human, even if they had open wounds. He told me everything and then asked me if I wanted to join him.

"That was the most difficult decision I ever had to make. I knew it was my mother's dying wish that I would do it, but I had given up and essentially decided to join my parents in death. Carlisle told me I would join them in death, just not in the afterlife. I still balked; I told him that I didn't want to be a soulless monster. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and asked if I really thought him (a) to be a monster, and (b) how he could be soulless if he could act with a conscience?

"I thought about point B. All the stories told us that vampires were soulless, but what if they weren't? I couldn't fathom Carlisle not having a soul. And a monster didn't have to be inhuman or undead; some humans fit the bill of monster more than Carlisle ever could. He was good, a good vampire. That I could want, and that I chose because my mom wanted me to. Of course, it was all much more involved than he could explain in just those few hours of me being lucid. I found that out in the decades following; in a way, I became a baby again and had to relearn everything.

"While I was a newborn—that's what we call young vampires—we stayed in remote places, cabins in the middle of the forest, with a lot of large wildlife around. When I was two years old, in my eternally 17-year-old body, Carlisle trusted me enough to start working again. I didn't dare venture near humans yet, but we did find out my gift. Carlisle thought he had gone insane and talked out loud while he thought it was inside his head. I answered his unspoken questions as readily as his spoken ones. Can you guess my gift yet?"

I looked at him and thought my answer, because I was pretty sure it was mind reading. He kept looking at me expectantly.

"Well, I guess I was wrong there, because you sure as hell didn't react to my answer."

"You didn't say anything, love." I liked that he called me love.

"Well, I thought my answer to you, because I thought it was mind reading. I expected some sort of reaction from you when you heard it in my mind. Or have you perfected the poker face needed to keep it a secret?" The moment I said mind reading, his face bloomed with the most alluring crooked smile. It was good that I was sitting cross legged on my bed because I felt my knees go weak.

"Oh, love, you are so very right. My gift is mind reading and, until today, I have never met or been in a three mile radius of anyone with a silent mind. Maybe that is too cocky, because if the mind was silent I wouldn't notice the person that far away. Okay, I never have been in smelling distance from anyone with a silent mind until I met you. I can't hear a thing from your mind, absolutely nothing. And even if I would very much like to hear your thoughts, it gives me peace to know you can be an enigma for me, that I can act normal around you and have to find out about your ideas the usual way."

"Does that make me a freak? Does my brain not work the right way?" I asked, a little worried.

"Of course not; it makes you gifted, extra special."

"So, you became a vampire, and you said that Carlisle had been alone until he met and changed you. What about your mother and siblings?"

"Okay, first, I need to explain vampire relationships to you, because they are a bit different than human relationships. You see, Bella, we are essentially frozen at the moment we change. We become like marble; our body is unchanging, our ideas and the way we were are unchanging. I chose to become a humanitarian vampire, had that set in my mind going into the change, and that is how I came out. Sure, it was difficult at first not to give into the instincts, but my idea of what I wanted to be helped me to abstain. I have never tasted human blood, ever. I also was a very eager learner all my life; that never stopped either. I kept learning new things, because that's my nature. But I also was the 17-year-old boy reared in the early nineteen-hundreds with very strict values about how to treat women. I was raised to be a gentleman. I hope I am one.

"Two things can alter the way a vampire works. Finding and losing love. I have witnessed, first hand, finding love twice now, and I can tell you that Carlisle's, as well as Rosalie's, thought patterns changed dramatically. It's like the magnet pull you described earlier. Suddenly, that person is their number one priority; Rose had a very traumatic change and was very bitter towards everyone near her. The moment she brought in Emmett, my jaw almost dropped to the floor because she suddenly became loving and let go of her bitterness.

"Bella, a vampire can only fall in love once, and only with his or her true soul mate. We are fiercely protective, and probably overly possessive. We're also strictly monogamous once we find our love. I say that because not everyone has my morals; I mean to say that I saved myself for my one true love, even when my succubus cousin of sorts tried very hard to seduce me. I left, or declined her offers. My virtue is for my mate, not one of the 'skank squad' as you call them. Furthermore, a vampire can't fall out of love. They mate for eternity. If they fall in love and are rejected—it happens in political games some vampires play—they will love the person forever and will wither away from loneliness.

"If a vampire's mate is destroyed, the other change will happen. It can go two ways: revenge or an empty shell. Neither way is pretty and the vampires who succumb to the second option actually try to commit suicide. The vampires who focus on revenge go on killing sprees to avenge their love, and more often than not, get destroyed in the attempt."

He took a deep breath, looked me straight in the eyes and professed, "Bella, today I found my mate. Today, in that library, I transformed; the world as I knew it doesn't exist anymore. My priorities were rearranged and I knew what happened; I had no bloodlust, even though your blood is the sweetest I have ever smelled. I only need to be near you, because you are it. You are my first priority now. I can and will never leave you. Whatever happens, we will weather it together."

I was speechless; I opened and closed my mouth several times before I even tried to form a sentence. "Why me? You could do so much better."

"Bella, it isn't voluntary. A vampire—I—can only fall in love with his one true soul mate: you. We are two halves of a whole."

"Okay, I think I need to listen to my gran; she told me to write my dreams before she died. Maybe that's why my thought processes are lagging right now. You have always been in my dreams; I even had your hair color right, but I gave you green eyes, not golden."

"Bella, I had green eyes when I was human. I think you were linked to me from birth and your gran knew it, just like my mom knew too. Those two women had, on their deathbeds, already become privy to the secrets of the universe; I strongly believe that that was why my mom knew. Your gran too, I think she told you to hang on and grow up, and probably told you to write too."

"Yeah," I said in a shaky voice. Somehow we had moved and I was now sitting on his stony lap; he was cross legged in the middle of the bed. I rested my head on his chest and felt completely at home and safe. "So, when are you going to change me into a vampire? And before you do, I think I have about a million questions, because I never made the inhumanly gorgeous boy in my stories a vampire, and you do not adhere to vampire fiction at all it seems."

"Shoot, I think we can handle a few tonight before you go to sleep."

"Well, dang! Now you added another one and I think that's the first one I will ask. Before I go to sleep? What do you do? Go fly like a bat? Don't you need to rest? If you are around during the day, does that mean your coffin awaits you at night? Just a few ideas planted in my head by reading vampire literature."

"Okay, Bella, we are dead already—the undead, remember?—so we don't need rest. I am also marble and unchanging, no flying around like a bat, or any kind of animal. Before I met you, I studied at night: obscure languages, music, I read everything I could get my hands on. We have a special room for me in the basement; it's basically a thoughtless tank. It's a small study immersed in water. Water is the only thing that blocks my three-mile radius mind, and now your mind shield. I can have the peace of only hearing my own thoughts in there, and believe me, with all the others mated for decades, they pursue quite different things at night. Or I go hunting to remote areas, but we drink only once in every two weeks after the newborn stage. The fact that we don't sleep gives us a lot of spare time."

I let that little explanation sink in. "Ok, no sleep ever again. Another very blatant difference between literature and real undeadness, you can come out during the day, and I don't see any special rings on any of you. So, what triggered the burning in the daylight myths?"

"Well, in most myths, it is burning in the sunlight. Why do you think we live in the most overcast areas in the world? But we don't burn in the sunlight; in the sun, it would immediately be very clear that we are different, and the effect may have given someone the idea that we burn. Our skin is like crystal or diamond in the sun. We light up, just not in a bad way. I will show you sometime, as soon as we can get away on a sunny day. Maybe when Charlie goes on one of his long weekend fishing trips he is planning."

"Ugh, don't remind me of those; until I was eleven, he forced me to come. Then, I started getting homework, or had to go to school before he wanted to go back. The only time I ever stood up to him was to get out of those horrible fishing trips; he made me bait his hooks. Once he caught something, I was the one gutting and descaling the bastards. I still can't stand fish; it's not food, in my opinion, just smelly crap.

"After I stood up to him—stupidly timed, I might add—he locked me in my room for the summer. He didn't know, and never found out, I also have a key to my room. So, when his cruiser was gone, I would go out and use the bathroom and keep up with my chores, because if he would have come home to his own filth, he would have taken it out on me, locked away be damned. By keeping him appeased just enough, I have successfully dodged beatings."

"Oh, darling, I could kill him for damaging your self-image, and using you as his personal slave. I do understand, though, that killing a cop would attract attention, and thus force me to leave. I can't do that to you, and not to me either. So, what do you think about subterfuge, large amounts of it, working around your deadbeat sire, and the moment you turn eighteen, leave him in the dust."

"I like that idea a lot, actually, especially the leaving in the dust part. What you're saying is I would have a place to go when I turn eighteen?" He nodded. "Really! Oh god, you're my savior; I was dreading Charlie's schemes to keep me here. Now I can just walk out."

"To keep the distress for you as low as possible, would you be willing to tell your story to the whole family tomorrow night? Then you won't have to repeat yourself ever again. Another vampire trait is a multitrack photographic mind. We are unable to forget, and able to recall every second of our lives as a vampire with perfect clarity."

"Edward, how on earth can I leave here without Charlie knowing? He padlocks the doors at night with combination locks and I don't have the combinations."

"Dearest, how about me jumping out of this here window with you in my arms; we also won't need a vehicle. I can run faster and in a more straight line than a car can drive. It's a ten minute drive by car to my house, I run it in three."

"Okay, I think. Won't they find it strange that you're bringing a human girl home?"

"Not at all, love, most mates are either found human or known about before they are changed. Carlisle, Rosalie, and Jasper all found their mates while they were still human. Carlisle even left her human for eight years, keeping tabs on her. She was a minor when he found her and he knew she needed to be an adult before he could change her. That is why I was his first companion. Three years after my conversion, he was hard pressed to save her after she jumped off a cliff to kill herself after her husband, and I use that term lightly, beat her so badly she delivered her son three months early. In 1921, no baby could survive that. The loss of her baby distraught her so much that she didn't want to live anymore. Carlisle couldn't explain to her like he did to me, but she mouthed 'Help me' to him when lying in the morgue. He injected her and ran with her to the house in the woods we shared.

"Rosalie was saved by Carlisle also. I believe he still thought then that mates were made not found, and he wanted me to have a mate, but Rosalie was so bitter after her change and wouldn't even acknowledge me. Not that I minded; I had heard the instantaneous bond between Carlisle and Esme in their minds and nothing like that happened between Rosalie and myself.

"After that, Carlisle and I studied mating. He has a vast amount of friends and quite a lot of them are mated couples. We would talk to them about their mating and I could see their memories in their minds. That is how I instantly knew you were my mate. The most important indicators are, when the mate is still human, no bloodlust at all and that magnetic pull. Does it bother you that you have no choice in the matter?"

I looked at him, perplexed. "How so? My intuition says it's right. My mind might be a bit stunned, and my self-esteem issues might tell me this can't be—a person so beautiful inside and out being my forever, literally—but I think we're made for each other, and nothing or nobody will ever change that fact. I wish we could leave all this behind right away, but I understand the need to keep this low key. I just hope you will be with me as much as possible, because after we parted this afternoon, a deep loneliness came over me. I just don't want to be away from you."

"I don't want that either, but we will have to separate sometimes. I thought something up to make those times a little easier. I hope you will accept this phone," he produced a brand new iPhone from a bag I hadn't noticed beside the bed before, "it's on my family's plan, and it won't cost you a dime. You will have to keep it a secret from everyone but our family, but we can text and maybe even do some FaceTime."

He looked imploringly at me to take the phone; my independent streak balked at accepting anything which could unbalance our already very uneven relationship, but deep down I knew he didn't want to give it to me to unbalance us. He wanted me to have it so we could stay linked while apart. After feeling the dull ache this afternoon, I knew, that as our bond grew stronger, that would be more pronounced. I yawned and grabbed the box from his hands, putting it on my nightstand, and threw my arms around his neck.

"It is difficult for me to accept this, because I have always taken care of myself, but I know this is no charity on your part. So, thank you, but please don't go overboard and shower me with gifts. That would make me feel insignificant."

"Oh, my love, this is just me, your mate, trying to take care of what is mine. Sorry to put it that way, but vampires are very possessive. You are absolutely your own person, and I am as much yours as you are mine. Link that instinct to my Victorian upbringing and it's almost impossible for me not to try to take care of you."

I yawned again. "I think I need to go to sleep. Are you staying with me?"

He smiled and nodded, stood up off the bed, pulling back the comforter. I went to the bathroom and took care of my nightly ablutions and changed into my only nightshirt: a dark blue men's t-shirt I bought at a thrift store for only a dollar. When I returned, Edward had just finished remaking the bed. I looked at him, puzzled; my bed was perfectly made before.

He smiled and said, "Alice saw I wanted to stay and brought an essential part for your bed to make it possible for me to hold you in my arms: she brought us an electric blanket and mattress pad. I just remade the bed with them installed. All we have to do is plug them in and you won't freeze in my arms."

I just couldn't do more than nod and smile, walking towards the nightstand to fish out the extension cord with three outlets. I unplugged the nightlight and plugged it into the extension. The two new plugs went in as well and I finally plugged the extension in the outlet. Edward had shed his jeans and button up and was perched under my thin comforter and the new electric blanket in his boxers and t-shirt. I blushed at the sight of him in my bed and shyly crept next to him. He wrapped me in his arms and I snuggled close. I felt him kiss the top of my head. I kissed his pecs and closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes again and asked, "Alice saw? What did you mean by that?"

He chuckled. "You can't shut off your mind? Alice is gifted: she sees the future based on the decisions people make. Jasper is gifted too: he is an empath. He can feel your emotions and can even manipulate them. Alice had a vision about us right after she was changed. Jasper changed her to save her from a sadistic vampire. He worked at the mental hospital she was admitted in. Another human found mate, they said it was rare, but I'm not so sure anymore."

Alice could see decisions; I thought I would try something. "Mmmmm, Edward, can you still hear Alice's mind?"

"Well, now I can again, you must have found it necessary."

I decided to kiss Edward square on the lips and heard the sharp intake of his breath almost immediately. I turned my head and felt him do the same; our lips met in a soft lingering kiss which set me on fire. He pecked my lips a few more times and looked me in the eyes. I lost myself in his soul shining through his golden orbs.

My stories mixed with reality and I felt myself drifting off. With my last conscious thought, I realized that I was absolutely sure of three things. Firstly, Edward was my soul mate, my other half. Secondly, my dismal existence suddenly had color; I had endured and now I could live. And thirdly, in eight months I would leave dreary Forks and would begin my eternity as a vampire.

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A/N next week, Bella's story.

my recommendations for this week are another few vampwards

Firstly a reading the books fic, but one without the original text included

Will Things Change by 2browneyes FFn 6646963, or on Fictionpad under Browneyes Fanfictions account

Secondly the fabulous journey of sexual and relational discovery

The List by LauraACullen FFn 4934524

See you next week, please review

Pien


	5. Chapter 4 Meeting the Family

A/N all things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just like to play with it. I don't intent to make money out of it.

You guys still baffle me with all your positives, I'm so glad this story is so well liked. I really hope it stays that way. To entice you further, the biggest hurdle in the sequel of Twilesque has been taken. So the writing on that will begin soon.

Big thank yous again to my team of helpers, Lorraine Bubbleybear for being awesome, ChandraKanta for the banners and being an incredible beta. And LunaDiSangue85 for pre-reading.

Bella's story, and meeting the family. Anybody curious what characteristics everybody has now that they were given a choice in changing?

* * *

TWILESQUE

Chapter 4 Meeting the Family.

EPOV

I held the love of my existence in my arms the entire night, thinking about our lives together. I thought about the edicts of the Volturi too; human found mates were given the choice to become a vampire, they were allowed to know the secret, but I didn't know if there was a timeframe in which they had to change. I really didn't want to upset our family so soon after we found a place so well suited for our kind to live among humans. That's probably why nothing was said in the rules. Non-humanitarian vampires simply didn't live among humans like we did. Disappearing would be a lot easier then.

"Edward, my eternal, my savior," Bella spoke in her sleep, totally jerking me out of my thoughts. A warm feeling spread through me, I had found my eternal love. After a century of loneliness, and ridicule from my siblings, I could finally bask in the love of the one for me.

Somehow I hoped that she would want to change very soon. I could feel my vampire instincts to claim my mate fully battle with my upbringing as a Victorian male to do the right thing, to wait to consummate our relationship until we were married the human way. My instincts told me that we were mated and no bond was stronger than that. But that was something in human terms we could never explain.

I basked also in the relative silence in my mind. Downstairs, Charlie was out in a drunken stupor, no real thoughts went through his mind. And the nearest neighbors were far enough away that I could push them effortlessly into a quiet hum in the back of my mind on a separate track ignored by my conscious mind. I had closed my eyes and while Bella was sleeping I rested next to her in my own form of sleep. I never thought it would feel so peaceful to do something like this.

"Stay, Edward, please don't leave me," Bella whimpered.

My love was afraid that I would leave her; she didn't know yet that that was an impossibility for me. I had told her, but it hadn't fully taken root in her brain as of now.

"Shhhh, Bella, rest, my darling girl, I will never leave you. I can't leave you, darling," I whispered directly into her ear. I felt her relax into my embrace.

My phone buzzed and I looked at Alice's text message. She told me Charlie would want to see Bella before he went to work and that it would be a sunny day. Great, no school torture for Bella and me. I would have to find some sample of Charlie's writing so I could write Bella a sick note to give to Mrs. Cope on Tuesday.

I liked Mrs. Cope; her thoughts were kind towards Bella, even protective. Her husband was the Chief of Police here in Forks, and what I had heard so far in her thoughts was that they had a pact to keep Charlie on the force as long as Bella lived at home, with the only condition that she didn't show any signs of physical abuse. They had discussed it and had decided that it would be worse to put her in the foster care system than to have her in her own home with a neglecting parent. Mrs. Cope had seen me talk to Bella and she was glad that our family seemed genuinely friendly towards her. I was very happy that Bella had a few silent protectors in Chief and Mrs. Cope.

Bella's alarm went off and she turned to put it out, coming to a full stop in her movement when I was between her and the alarm. She inhaled deeply and the most wonderful smile spread across her face. "Hmmm, Edward." I smiled down at her and switched the alarm off. Bella snuggled into my arms and almost drifted off again. I tightened my grip and kissed her forehead.

"Bella, honey, you need to wake up for a moment. Charlie will want his breakfast, and he wants to see you this morning, I don't know why. Furthermore, it's going to be sunny today so I can't go to school. Would you like to come with me to my home? I can show you what I look like in the sun."

Her eyes lit up and she nodded fervently. I bowed my head to kiss her but she clamped a hand over her mouth and muttered through the gag, "Morning-breath!"

I peeled her hand away and took a deep breath through my nose. "Sweet, sweet Bella, all natural floral… freesia, strawberries, and a hint of cranberries with no nasty things to subtract from it. Bella, darling of mine, we vampires are all about natural scents; perfume and things like toothpaste are really vile to us. I understand your need to clean your teeth but you don't have to do anything about your scent. I'd rather smell your sweat than those artificial deodorants. When a person dyes their hair, I can smell it in their hair for weeks. I know you use strawberry shampoo because those strawberries smell artificial. Your natural scent has pure strawberry in it and that is stronger because it's in your blood. So enough, please kiss me."

She smiled shyly and leaned towards me; our lips brushed together once, twice, then I put more pressure into it and tilted my head to make us fit better. Our lips danced together until she broke away gasping, a smile a mile wide on her face. I nuzzled her neck and pressed some kisses to her pulse point. I wanted her to feel desired, loved beyond reason, and safe. She sighed, looked at the clock and squeaked, trying to free herself from my arms.

"Edward, I really need to make Charlie's breakfast. If he comes in here, please hide in the closet, or behind the door. He never snoops around that I know of."

She went into her father's room, grabbed the alarm clock and a clean uniform shirt and trousers, sighing to herself that he didn't change the day before so she had to remind him to dress properly. I could see her standing in front of his dresser, opening the top drawer and closing it again fast. Another sigh and a curse under her breath later, she took a pair of navy boxers from the drawer and added it to the pile of clothes.

"Bella, why do you remind him like a small child to change his clothes? It isn't as if he treats you better for it."

"Edward, he gets warnings at work for being tardy and when he doesn't look sharp. Because he is perfect in his eyes, he takes those warnings out on me. If I get him to work on time and make sure he's dressed right, he doesn't have extra ammunition to shoot me down."

After that, she disappeared downstairs and I sat down in the rocking chair listening.

I heard her going into the refrigerator, cursing softly under her breath. She had told me that Wednesdays were the worst days food wise, because on Wednesdays Charlie would get his paycheck. I texted Esme to ask her to get some treats and basic food items for Bella. I nearly jumped out of the chair when the foghorn alarm went off for Charlie downstairs.

His thoughts assaulted me._ 'That goddamn cunt, she had to wake me up again at an unholy hour. Dammit, I almost forgot, I have to patrol La Push today or Billy won't be happy. I should look sharp today at roll call; looks like that piece of shit thought about everything. Now how to keep her in line… she mustn't think she rules me, but dammit, she always thinks of everything. The little whore tries to weasel her way out of punishments. Maybe I should beat her to thank her then. Ah hell, that won't work either. I can't keep her at home to hide the bruises, and as much as I don't think people would care, some would. I can't ruin my stellar reputation. I have to uphold my image. That's the only way Billy will let me share. Ah well, goddamnit, I need a fuck and to get dressed. Sadly, only the latter will happen.'_

I was appalled at his inner musings, and what did he mean by Billy letting him share? It sounded in his head as if he never acknowledged Bella by name if he could help it. I was glad in a way, that way he couldn't defile it either. He went into the downstairs toilet and changed his uniform out. Stepping out of the bathroom, he went to the kitchen and confronted Bella on the meager sandwiches she'd made.

"Hey, you bitch, this isn't nearly enough for breakfast and lunch. Where's the rest of it? You better produce it now."

I heard Bella scurry to the other side of the kitchen, stumbling on the way.

"There is nothing more; the food money you gave me ran out two days ago. So, if you want lunch, you'll have to buy it yourself." Bella's tone was soft but defiant.

"You think I believe for one second that you haven't held back something for yourself? You're not here to eat my food; you're here to prepare my meals. Give it up, you ungrateful little cunt."

"This is everything that was left; you could take leftover dinner from Monday."

"Why in the hell is there leftover dinner, bitch, that wouldn't be because you didn't have it on the table on time did it? You're never on time with my dinner. Either running around in that stupid library, or buried in those damn books when you're here. Why should you even bother? You're just going to tend house and spread your legs on command when I ever find a stupid sod that'll take you."

Bella sniffed and her voice broke when she said, "You better hurry. Roll call starts in fifteen minutes." I heard her stumbling feet on the stairs, running towards her sanctuary—her room—and to me. She closed the door silently behind her, turned around, and realized I was still there.

She rushed into my arms and sobbed on my shoulder. "Every Wednesday is the same, no food for me. I have to go hungry until he leaves money in the jar on the fridge. But that last comment today was more vicious than even I am used to. I think the only thing keeping Charlie from simply booting me out is that child support check every three months. He buys his luxuries from that money, because he drinks everything else away. He never saves up; he goes only for instant gratification."

Downstairs, we heard the front door slam shut. "Good, he's gone, that means he'll be on time. That'll make my life somewhat easier tonight. Let's forget about Charlie until then. What are we going to do today?"

"Well, after what you just told me, we're going to go to my home and get you breakfast. I will take care of you, especially on Wednesdays; you'll never want again."

"How are we going to your house? My bike is old and rusty. It won't hold both of us. And I'm no great hiker; furthermore, my shoes are only protecting the tops of my feet right now."

She grabbed one of her sneakers and turned it over; I did a double take when I saw the worn sole with a golf ball sized hole in it. Her cheeks flamed in embarrassment and chagrin when she saw my shocked face.

I found my voice again. "Luckily, you won't have to walk a step; you may sit back on my back, while I do the running. I'll give you a piggyback ride."

"I think that will answer a couple of my questions, won't it? I'll be introduced to your speed and strength." While talking, she had put on a pair of ripped jeans and a fraying hoody, almost the same as she had worn the day before, and was now tying her sneakers on her feet.

"Okay, let's go, Edward."

I scooped her up in my arms and jumped out of the window, not stopping until we were safely under cover of the trees. I helped her on my back; she locked her arms around my neck in a chokehold. Her legs went around my waist and I planted one of my hands squarely on her backside to hold her in place. She giggled into the crook of my neck; I felt her cheek heat up, then I started to run towards my house.

A surprised gasp came out of her mouth and her breathing started to pick up. Was she afraid or aroused? It wasn't long until I picked up an intensifying of her scent. Bloody hell, she was aroused! I was over the moon; she liked the speed. The run wasn't long, only about three minutes. The big white form of our house loomed up through the trees and I was greeted in mind by my family.

_'Edward, I'm so happy for you, I can't wait to meet her.'_ Esme was her motherly self.

_'My, my, the virginal boy is getting laid! I'll give you some pointers.'_ Damn Emmett, I couldn't get out of his mind fast enough before he descended into porn territory.

_'Carlisle told us you found your mate. I hope she's feisty but I'll help her become that if she's not, yet.'_ Rose; yeah, she would help Bella find her hidden feistiness.

_'I'm going to keep some distance, Edward. Her scent is very intense.' _Jasper was making sure he wouldn't upset Bella too much.

_'Welcome home, son, our family is finally complete. This is a joyous day.' _Carlisle the father figure.

I didn't hear Alice, where was she?

I stopped and helped Bella to her feet. Her eyes were shining with excitement. "Oh, wow, that was exhilarating! But short, we have to do that again. Will I be that fast when I change?" I turned her while I told her maybe, but that I was the fastest of the family. She gasped when she saw the house. Esme and Carlisle were situated on the porch.

Suddenly, I heard Alice's thoughts and I smiled. _'Distract her for a moment, Edward, that way I can get the groceries inside and greet her with the rest.' _Well, what better way to distract her than kissing her? I grabbed her face in my hands and slowly touched my lips to hers. The electricity between us ramped up. It was exquisite. I heard Carlisle in my mind, warning me that she needed to breathe, so I slowly let go.

Panting, Bella scolded me, "Edward, in front of your parents! What if they think I'm easy?" Carlisle and Esme were strong individuals, keeping their faces welcoming but impassive. They had seen Alice speed inside and knew I did it to distract Bella.

"Bella, they know we're mated. It would be strange for me not to kiss you." Her cheeks flamed and she hid in her hair. I urged her forward and toward Esme, who embraced her and welcomed her into the family. Bella teared up and stammered her thanks and greeting. Carlisle repeated the hug, noticing that Bella wasn't used to such friendly greetings.

I wrapped my arm around her and whispered to her that she only needed to meet two more people. I steered her inside, where Alice and Jasper were on the love seat furthest from the door; Rose and Emmett were standing just inside and they both looked excited to meet her. Emmett, the doofus, was almost vibrating.

"Watch it, Emmett, she's human; don't break her," Rose warned him under her breath; Bella wouldn't hear, but she did see their interaction, that cute little frown coming between her eyebrows.

She greeted them shyly and looked up to me, silently asking what to do next.

We all settled with our mates on the different sofas in the living room, the sun streaming in through the back windows, all of us glittering a bit from the reflected light. The couches were situated away from the windows on purpose.

"Well, Bella," Emmett began. I tried to interfere but the oaf was talking in sync with his thoughts. "Looking at you, do you really think you're good enough for our Edward?" The douchebag thought he was funny. I felt Bella starting to tremble in my arms and she subtly created a bit of distance between us. Her eyes glazed over and Emmett's added "Hmmm" made the tears spill over. She started to sob and I pulled my love into my arms and glared at Emmett.

I kept my voice soft but it sounded deadly. "You insufferable idiot, now look what you have done! Knowing what you know about human found mates, why in the HELL DID YOU THINK THAT REMARK WAS ANYTHING CLOSE TO FUNNY!" Okay, I lost my temper big time, and the ability to modulate my voice. "Bella, dear, he was joking! Remember what I told you, we are mated and nothing will ever split us up, no matter what. I love you for all of eternity, darling. I'm yours as much as you're mine. Please, darling, calm down please."

I had pulled Bella into my lap and rocked her like a small child, while she was crying into my chest. I was completely focused on my girl, my peripheral senses picked up on Esme and Rose both hitting Emmett in the head for being so insensitive.

Rose scolded him. "God, Emmett, every time when I finally think you're trying to not be a bully you disappoint the crap out of me! Just because you were the last to be changed doesn't mean that you can forget about our stories. None of us were particularly happy before the change, what made you think that her self-esteem is any higher than Esme's or mine were, hmmm? You're going to try harder to be nice to her, or it will have dire consequences!"

Esme added, "Emmett, I've had enough of you acting like the older brother towards Edward and Jasper. Jasper has about a hundred and fifty years on you, and Edward about thirty. Furthermore, your behavior places you in kindergarten and makes you sound younger than even Bella! It is time for you to finally learn some manners. Slip up again and I will help Rose discipline you."

Right about then, I felt something wonderful: Bella started giggling. I looked at her and she smiled back at me, her eyes red rimmed and a blush on her cheeks. "What is it, love," I asked.

"Oh, Edward, I just felt so loved all at once, not just by you but your whole family. It's hard to grasp because it's so foreign to me. Nobody outside this room loves me like that, unconditionally. Sure, some have taken pity with me, but most either ignore me or bully me because I'm different. Can I have a glass of water, then I can tell you my story? I think it's time you all really know me."

Within two seconds, Esme returned with a big glass of ice water and a platter with peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Bella's eyes lit up and she grabbed two cookies and wolfed them down. Her cheeks lit up and she ducked her head. "Sorry, that is a rare treat, and those are my favorite. I couldn't help myself."

Esme smiled. "You don't need to apologize, Bella, they are yours. Remember, dear, we don't eat solid foods and drink only one kind of liquid." Bella's cheeks flamed even redder, but her expression was pleased. She nibbled on cookie number four and took a gulp of the icy water, crunching on one of the chips of ice.

"Okay, my story. I have to start with my gran, my father's mother. Even though it wasn't exactly usual anymore in the late nineteen-sixties, her marriage was arranged. Her father wanted a bigger part of the business he was in and the son of his boss was interested in my gran. She wasn't interested in him, but that didn't matter. She bore him one child; luckily for her, the first child was a boy and he let her be after that. He slept in the master bedroom and my gran had the spare room together with the baby. When Charlie turned five, my grandfather decided the boy would sleep in the garage from then on and made a corner there for him. From that day forward, my grandfather took over the raising of his son, not sparing the rod and instilling his values in him as well.

"He wasn't pleased when Charlie rebelled at seventeen and went to the police academy to become a cop. I'm sorry to say 'that to catch a criminal, you need to have one' is entirely true for Charlie. He just was never caught; he hot-wired cars for joyrides, he shoplifted almost everything, and he was very promiscuous, sleeping with every girl he could get his hands on.

"That resulted in a desperate phone call from a girl he had a wild night with from Phoenix, one Renee Higginbotham. She was pregnant and she believed that it was his. Both eighteen, they didn't know what to do, but Charlie had no intention to become a father that young. He was talking on the phone to her about an abortion when his father overheard and took over; he wired Renee enough money to fly to Forks and picked her up at the airfield. He had already arranged for a marriage license and he forced both of them into it at gunpoint."

Bella took a sip of water and continued. "Eight months later, I was born. My gran was my primary caregiver from birth; apparently I rejected breast milk from the beginning, probably sensing the bad things in it. My mom smoked weed a lot. When my physical needs had nothing to do with her, my mom went back to partying the night away and sleeping until she had to get out of bed to go to her crappy part-time job as a waitress at the diner. My so-called parents slept in the master bedroom in Gran's house. My grandfather died of an alcohol induced heart attack a month after they were married. My gran kept her room and took me in, like she had with Charlie when he was little.

"My life was good; my gran was a great person and she loved me very much. She taught me to be strong, always telling me stories and listening to mine. She taught me my letters when I was three and to read and write when I was four. She encouraged me to learn everything I could get my hands on. I can clearly recall those lessons; Gran told me a story and afterwards said I had to write it down any which way I could: in pictures or words. I learned fast that words were easy for me and I could see them in my head when I recalled Gran's stories. I wrote them down verbatim most of the time. Gran told me I had a photographic memory and to make good use of it." Bella's face fell and she heaved a deep sigh. She was still sitting on my lap and pressed herself closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and nuzzled her hair.

"This is going to be the less than pleasant part to tell. Gran became ill when I was four. Pancreatic cancer, she died in three months. I was heartbroken. On her deathbed, my gran had confided some things to me; I lived in the hospital with her, and in the dead of night she told me I was very special, that I had to be strong and grow up before it would happen. She urged me to write down my stories and to believe in them. She told me those were her dying wishes, then she handed me a box of jewelry and a spiral bound notebook and a box of pencils. She told me about her hiding place in her, now my, room. And then she died. Gran had done everything to protect me, but she could only do so much. She had seen the same callous streak in her son as her husband had had, and she also had pegged my mother as a flight risk.

"About five months after her death, Renee left without leaving a forwarding address or contacting information. Oh, dear, I just realized that they are still married; oh wow, well, they deserve each other. Charlie never really liked Renee and they both blamed me for ruining their lives. Ever since Gran died, Renee has not lost an opportunity to tell me that: I was a goo spouting dirtbag, filth not good enough to pay attention to, a whore… Yeah, really she called me a slut and a whore at four. I really don't know where my brain came from because both of my parental figures are stupid morons. Well, anyway, Renee left. Charlie just left me locked in my bedroom with a box of cereal and a bottle of water. He made me do the chores when he was home. I learned to cook from cookbooks I got from the library when I was big enough to climb out of my window when he was out.

"Sadly, he found that way out and pruned the tree next to my window. He didn't know, and still doesn't, that on my trips to the library I had taken my bedroom key with me and had it duplicated. I paid for it with a simple ring from Granny's jewelry. When I was eight, I was deemed old enough to do the groceries. From then on, I got a bit of money every week to buy his meals. I had to cook them and make sure I had them ready in time. I learned to budget that money real quick, because when I grew out of my clothes, he simply said that he gave me money so I should get everything I needed next to his meals from that money. I buy my fresh ingredients either in bulk or on the expiration date. The butcher at the Thriftway knows me and keeps almost bad meat apart for big bargain prices. He always puts both the old and the reduced price on the paper. I use the old price in my budget book and stash the rest of the money in my clothes money jar.

"Charlie is a cruel and indurate man. I try to avoid him as much as possible, which is easier now since I'm in high school and almost of age. Because I can't afford more clothes, or to style my hair, and am freakishly intelligent and forced to be mature to boot, my peers do not like me and have always tried to bring me down. Because they are less cruel than Charlie, I can take it most of the time. I hear my gran's voice in my head when I am on the brink of giving up. She reminds me to be strong, but it is hard most days. After twelve years of derogatory remarks everywhere I go, I almost believe them most of the time. I only keep them at bay through my stories; there I was the princess found by her fairy prince." She smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Edward, but I just didn't see vampire in my head. You were so beautiful, and otherworldly, but you simply couldn't belong to what I knew about vampires, those from Bram Stoker and Anne Rice. And I was right, you are nothing like that. Almost the only thing you have in common is that you drink blood."

Everybody laughed at that.

Carlisle sobered first. "Bella, you do understand that not all vampires are like us, don't you? I mean they might share the same traits and physical appearance, but besides us and our cousins, humanitarian vampires are few and far between; they also all drink human blood. Even the ones, like Jasper before, who don't want to kill anymore. To make it clear, if you encounter another vampire, look at the eyes. If they are red, and I mean the irises, they are living on human blood. To protect yourself, you should immediately tell them you're a mate to one of our kind. That should be enough; it's against all rules to harm another vampire's mate. Please, never go into the forest without one of us by your side. I saw your medical file, and you, little lady, are not the most coordinated human. Dr. Gerandy wanted me to look at it because he's suspecting abuse. After what you've told me, I think he's right but not in the way he's thinking. I think the mental abuse put on you has made you clumsy, unsure how to act. The fear of being noticed and bullied doesn't help either. Your fierce nature warring with the need to protect makes you stumble on your choices, literally."

Bella looked thoughtful, clearly taking everything Carlisle had said in and mulling it over.

Suddenly her eyes sparked. "Carlisle, please tell me about the change, what to expect afterwards too. I already know that my future is with you all, the choice never was a choice; it was an inevitability. From the moment I first saw Edward in my dreams, I have known he was my future. In my stories, I gradually changed into a fairy, but what I have gathered from Edward's history is that is not how it works. Please enlighten me so I can prepare myself."

My awe for this amazing woman spiked; she really listened and understood, and wanted to have all information before making a choice.

"Okay, Bella, the traditional way to become a vampire is to be bitten by one. Our saliva is actually a multipurpose venom. It serves to incapacitate our kill, but when left to work, it will begin to change the genetic makeup of the one bitten. Small amounts of venom are beneficial to small to medium sized wounds; when applied on the skin only, it will seal cuts without a trace. The changing takes approximately three days and all that time you'll feel as if you're burning alive. Sadly, I have never found a way to counteract the burn. I have searched for it, but nothing works. Because I don't want to tempt myself with the taste of human blood, I devised a way to change my companions through injecting them with my venom.

"When I changed Edward, my method sounded good in my head. I thought I had covered all eventualities in my mind. I had hunted excessively to be covered if the bites were necessary. I knew I didn't have a lot of time and I had to prepare him for the burn. If you're prepared, then it's easier to think through things. I also had to bring him to my house; I knew I was an exception waking up alone with my control in place. Edward's blood was so sweet, I knew he had to be gifted. The ruling vampires, the Volturi, told me as much. The sweeter the blood, the greater the gift."

"Wait a minute," I interrupted, "Bella's blood is the sweetest I have ever smelt. If the mating bond hadn't eliminated the bloodlust, I would have been in big trouble."

"Oh I know her blood is sweet, but not excruciatingly so, to me at least. I think she is la tua cantante, your singer, and I only know of one pair of vampires in our history having such a bond before. Marcus of the Volturi had such a bond with his mate. The way Marcus explained it is that your souls were bonded before either of you were born, probably in a former life. Once two souls are bonded that way, they will search each other out again and again. That's why Marcus is still desperate to end his existence, to be with his soul mate again."

Bella looked a bit overwhelmed, but working through all the information at more than human speed, at least it looked like she did; I began to get a small idea just how very smart she really was.

"Then why, if he wants to be with his soul mate, does he still hang around? I mean, Edward told me the two ways vampires who lost their mate go. If his bond was stronger, then why didn't he just walk into a volcano and be with her? She will walk through her next life empty and lonely. Or can't people who have become vampires reincarnate again? If they can, he can find her again, you know."

Carlisle looked surprised and awed at the same time. He tried to formulate an answer but he had none. He never thought about it that way. His mind was curiously blank, as were those of the rest of my family. I basked in the awed silence for a moment.

"Well," I said, "you truly stumped the collective Cullen brain trust at the moment, dear. The only thing I can hear an answer to is Marcus's passive attitude. He is bonded to the Volturi by one of their gifted members, Chelsea. He can't leave against that bond, even to end his existence. Come to think of it, that's probably why he isn't searching the globe for her incarnation. Even if that's still possible after becoming a vampire. Your way of looking at it cured me of one thing though. I will never kill myself if something happened to you while you are still human. I will wait and then start searching for you. It would be agony, but I would know you would come again."

"Well, at least she fits right in with you brainiacs, even if she looks like a bum," Emmett blabbed again while thinking the words, and this time they were out of his mouth while they were still forming in his head. How did he do that? Bella started to tremble again, trying to hold back the tears. She wasn't used to teasing; every jibe towards her in the past had been to inflict injury. I growled menacingly and Rose was on her feet, hitting him in the head as soon as she saw Bella's reaction.

"Damn it, you big douchebag, this is the last time! You don't tease someone who has been demeaned his or her whole life. If you do it again, you will walk around a eunuch for at least a month! Don't think I couldn't do it; I would have Edward's and Esme's help to hold you down. And you would not only walk around like a Ken-doll, you would have to keep me satisfied as well."

Wow, dominatrix Rose to the rescue; Bella blinked away her tears and gaped at her in awe. Looking around, she realized that everyone was nodding their approval towards Rose. She sighed and said in a small voice, "Erm, thank you, Rosalie, but you don't have to do that on my account."

"Of course I have to, you're family now and I won't let anybody hurt family, not even other family. I will help you with your snowed under self-esteem, and in time you'll learn that teasing can be fun. At the moment, I just understand that it is too much like bullying for you."

Alice started vibrating, and I saw what she was going to do. Having no way to stop her, I sighed and whispered to Bella, "Brace yourself."

"Bella, your wardrobe does leave a lot to be desired. I know you don't have the resources to buy new things, but we do. Now that you are part of the family, I will make sure you get the clothes you need to fit in with us. I have seen that we will go to Seattle tomorrow; it'll be sunny here again, and I'll provide you with the wardrobe you desperately need."

Alice looked at Bella for confirmation of her words. She didn't expect a thoughtful look on her face, but that is what she got.

"Alice, your visions work on the decisions everyone makes, don't they?"

Alice looked puzzled but went along; hell, all of us looked puzzled.

"Yes, Bella."

"Tell me how that works, when it comes to things you want."

"Simple, I decide what I want and then I can see the overall outcome."

"Okay, if that outcome is less than satisfactory, you go over your decision until it is?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it."

"Have you ever thought about factoring the free will of the person or persons involved into that equation?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you manipulate everyone on a daily basis to do your bidding. You dictate what happens based on your whims. You will not take my free will away from me. I've been in manipulative situations enough to know a manipulator when I see one."

Alice's face was an impassive mask, her mind reeling. Nobody had dissected her ways so thoroughly after only knowing her a few days. I had known how she worked for a long time, but I had always been too much of a gentleman to confront her on it. When nothing came from Alice for a minute, Bella continued, "Think about it, Alice, and ask people what they want. Don't use your knowledge of the future to bully everyone to do what you want. Learn humility and team-work. You will be surprised how much more it will give you. Of course, you can still look at the outcomes, but I assure you that you'll have a lot less grumbling housemates if you take their free will into your equations."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest and stated, "I will not change my appearance overnight. I will have to keep up the ruse that I am still under Charlie's control. We will use your ability to keep up appearances. I accepted the phone from Edward yesterday, because I knew it wasn't charity. I find it difficult to accept charity in any form; I have managed with absolutely no help from anybody for almost fourteen years now, and I won't give up total independence. I know I will have to learn that not every gift is charity, but for now, please tread slowly."

With her last words, her eyes bored into mine and I understood. I wanted to shower her with gifts, to show her my love for her, but love wasn't material for Bella. To her, those gifts would highlight her inability to take care of herself, even if she had done an incredible job of it all this time. I would think of small thoughtful gifts, like the phone, gifts that would take care of both of us in a way.

Bella's stomach protested its emptiness loudly at that point and Esme shot into the kitchen. While Bella's cheeks flamed with embarrassment, I frowned in chagrin. I had totally forgotten my mate's need for regular meals and the cookies she had as breakfast weren't nearly enough. I heard Esme scuttling at vampire speed, and before Bella's blush had disappeared, she reemerged with a plate of sandwiches and a glass of milk. None of us said anything—Emmett was probably afraid to—but the milk smelt especially atrocious.

The rest of the afternoon was easy going; I took Bella up to my room and showed her my music collection. "Edward, this room illustrates your nature so well. That big ass piano downstairs is yours, isn't it?"

"Yes, love. To my great joy, I retained my skills on the piano, and I must have had a talent for it before my change, because it's one of the things that kept developing in me. Only our human talents keep growing, all the rest will freeze in the change. Vampire talents are highly reminiscent of their human counterpart. Like my piano skills, I now compose too. As a human, I embellished the pieces I played; now I write my own."

"Oh, wow, so your state really freezes over and the only big change that can happen is falling in love?"

"Yes, mating is the only big one, it rearranges your entire being. I actually felt it happen when I first laid eyes on you, and realized I didn't feel any bloodlust towards you. That and the Pull: I changed from a brooding, lonely, sometimes morose vampire to the one in front of you now. Focused on your happiness. You are my everything, my first priority. I'm yours, and you're mine." I had to say the last part; I had to give in to the possessive part of my vampire nature.

Bella looked deep in thought while she answered almost automatically, "Yes, yours, always." Her deep in thought expression became more pronounced. "Edward, can I ask when you are intending to change me?"

"Well, as soon as possible, without us having to upset our so short stay here. That's either now—you would disappear without being linked to us too much—or as soon as you turn eighteen and are able to leave Charlie's house."

"Hmmm, and already being mated to you, no big changes for me after my change then. I'll stay the same forever?"

"I never thought about that, but it looks like it. Emmett mated directly after the change with Rosalie and never changed again so far. Esme, I think, was mated before Carlisle injected her, and she hasn't changed a bit either."

"Ok, then I would like to wait to change until I am a bit more free from my abuse. Rose already offered to talk to me to get it out. I don't want to stay locked up inside myself because I changed too soon. I want to be everything promised inside me. That means hard work to overcome those years of abuse. Inside and around you, it's less pronounced; here, I'm free to speak my mind. I'm sorry to say I've learned to lie and pretend so well that it's become my mask to the outside world. That has to go before I change and freeze that way."

"Um, love, I'm bound to tell you that you'll need to lie and act quite well to keep our nature secret to the outside world. I do understand your need to get rid of the influence of abuse. I like your feisty mind, and I'm not glad you feel the need to defer everything at the moment, but don't lose it completely as a tool. I'm just saying that I'll comply to your timeframe."

My inner beast roared with dissatisfaction; he would be denied his mate in the carnal way until she was changed. That could become a problem, and it was something I needed to discuss with Carlisle. How could I stay the gentleman I want to be and not give into the beast inside until she was changed?

Bella and I were cuddled on the leather couch in my room. I decided to buy a very comfortable, big bed in here. That way, Bella could live here while just being at Charlie's for the shortest amount of time manageable with a future seeing pixie on our side.

Alice's mind voice came into my head. _'Edward, Bella needs to go to Charlie's in fifteen minutes. She can heat the leftover dinner for him. He didn't take it to work. I'll give you a container of lasagna for Bella. Keep it closed until Charlie crashes, which won't be long; he found some extra cash somewhere and bought himself some booze. I put your present inside the same bag. They look the same, almost, nobody will notice the difference._' I decided to thank her and got a no problem in return.

Everything went off as Alice saw, of course. After Charlie ate his dinner and I had curbed my wish to strangle him into a pulp again, he fell into his recliner and downed the bottle of booze in fifteen minutes. He crashed three minutes later and I crept down the stairs with Bella's dinner and her present. We warmed her dinner and she attacked it with gusto, almost moaning how good it was. We opened the kitchen window and washed everything thoroughly to keep Charlie from smelling her meal. My sense of smell could still detect it but I was convinced Charlie couldn't. I had Bella sit at the kitchen table.

"Darling, as promised, I will not shower you in gifts, but this one I had to get you, to care for you properly. You need to have warm and dry feet. These are to ensure that." I handed over the sneakers I had Alice buy. I had to smile at her choice: the highest end sneakers available, which looked almost like Bella's old ones. Bella's eyes went wide and glassy; oh shit, did I overstep, was it too much? Or were these signs of the so-called happy tears?

I froze and just watched her hugging the sneakers to her chest, and then the tears were streaming over her cheeks silently. The next thing I knew, I was wearing Bella around me. She hung from my frame with arms and legs thrown around me. I quickly wrapped my arms around her to give her support, both emotional and physical.

"Oh, Edward, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. They are perfect. Nobody will notice but I will float around now."

"Love, you're very welcome. Let's throw the old ones out right now, so your dad won't notice you've suddenly got two pairs. I have to ask you something too, because in order not to draw attention to us, we need to stay home tomorrow as well. Carlisle has called the school and hospital to explain we are all down with some contagious bug or virus. Nothing bad, but you need to decide if you caught it too; you'll need to call the school yourself then. Mrs. Cope saw us interact, so she won't be suspicious if you've caught it too."

"I'll stay home too, I've got work here enough to keep up my lead on everyone else. I'm going to bed now, you staying?"

"Of course."

We went upstairs and were cuddled up in her bed ten minutes later. Another ten minutes of kissing and caressing later, Bella's body relaxed, her breathing slowed down, and her heart rate went down as well. I closed my own eyes and retreated in my newly discovered form of rest.

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A/N with this chapter, the introduction of my view on Twilight, and the show of the differences from canon is complete. The next chapter my world will start to take over. The story will leave the paths of the original behind and follow its own way to our couple's HEA.

My recommendations for this week:

Firstly, a beautiful replacement for Breaking Dawn. It starts after Jacobs unwanted kiss, and diverts from there.

My Sweet Angel by kiseger, FFn 5457613

And secondly, a rewrite of Twilight with a blind Bella.

Seeing Bella by sherryola, FFn 6579398

Thank you for reading, please review.

See you next week.

Pien


	6. Chapter 5 New Beginnings

A/N again I'd like to emphasize that all things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I just play with her characters.

Enormous thanks again for Lorraine Bubbleybear, Chandrakanta and LunaDiSangue85. They helped me make this idea into a story.

thanks also to all the readers who are following me or have put this story in their favorites. You guys are the cream in my coffee. I truly had not expected such a response to my first try at writing a multi-chapter fic.

* * *

TWILESQUE

Chapter 5 New Beginnings.

BPOV

In the first few weeks after Edward and I found each other, my life changed dramatically. Alice learned to tone down her overbearing streak and asked before answering it herself, but because she now asked the questions she got the visions of the true answers, instead of her ideas made into other decisions through bullying. I believe the rest of the Cullens were very grateful for that subtle change. Emmett was scolded by Edward, Rosalie, and Esme. He tried very hard not to make me feel dejected again, and if a sad look came on my face after another wrongly phrased tease, he was hit in the head by all three. Twice by Edward, because I couldn't do it myself yet.

We quickly found a way to be together almost constantly. Alice and Jasper were our helpers all the way. Alice told us at what time Charlie would expect his dinner and I would be at Charlie's 10 minutes before he came home, Tupperware containers in hand with a meal I cooked at the Cullens' with Edward's and Esme's help. I didn't call Charlie's house home anymore, the Cullen mansion was. It was ridiculous how fast I became acclimated to living in luxury. Nine out of ten nights I slept in Edward's ridiculously large and comfortable bed—a brand new bed to boot. He had lain next to me the first night and resolved that he didn't want me sleeping in that dump anymore if he could help it.

At Edward's, I had a complete new wardrobe of Alice-approved clothes; I never wore them as she had forgotten to ask what my idea of nice clothes was. Thanks to Edward, I also had a few new jeans and sweatshirts. Again, just like my sneakers, they looked a lot like my old clothes; those I still kept and changed into when I went to Charlie's. I would acclimate him slowly to the new ones. All at once, he would notice; one at a time would slip by him.

I was becoming bitterer towards Charlie when I learned how easy it was for the Cullens to just love me. I actually thought that he had to have gone out of his way to treat me like he did. My resentment for Renee wasn't as strong as what I was holding towards Charlie. At least she left me alone, but she had called and insulted me again on the anniversary of the farce that was her marriage. She had demanded money from Charlie, which made him furious at me, of course. It was the most idiotic situation if you thought about it. Charlie and Renee had never divorced; Renee left so everybody assumed they had, but if my dad was killed in the line of duty, or simply keeled over from alcohol poisoning, Renee would be his beneficiary. I didn't mind that, not now my future husband provided for me in every way.

Or should I say every way but one, the one being physical relations. When he held me at night I felt his desire, prominently I might add, against my hip or stomach. I felt it when I woke up against my butt. But he told me he wasn't ready,he felt stifled by his upbringing. His vampire instincts told him to pounce and totally claim me, but the ingrained gentleman bolted at the thought. My decision to remain human for as long as it took to shed my characteristics, or rather to turn my weaknesses into strengths, also made it harder for him because they didn't have any idea if a vampire claiming his mate while human would be able to hold off on the mating bite.

Carlisle and Esme had shown their mating bites when they explained being mated more fully; I also knew that, while we were bonded, Edward and I wouldn't be fully mated until we consummated our bond. This caused Edward a lot of instinctive anxiety; he was highly possessive and insanely jealous, so jealous that the Cullen males kept their distance from me. They never were closer than about twelve feet, and I talked to them but didn't look them straight in the eye. I talked to my toes or hands a lot these days.

School also became a strange place; while I was always bullied, nobody, and I mean absolutely nobody, had ever taken an interest in me. Since I now had five friends all of a sudden, and most noticeably a boyfriend in Edward, the boys in the two most senior classes suddenly looked at me differently. Mike 'the Pimp' Newton suddenly tried to walk me to class and stuttered his way through another vile proposal of hooking up behind the library. Tyler 'the Rat' Crowley blatantly asked, while Edward's arms were wrapped around my waist, if I would go out with him and do better. Rose, Alice, and I laughed in his face, and I asked him how he thought to accomplish that. I felt bold and looked at Jasper's smirk. He must have influenced Tyler, too, because he blurted out that he was undoubtedly a bigger man than what that freak of a Cullen could ever have. He started to whip his manhood out in the open when I looked down at his package and shut him up good.

"If that bulge is you soft it couldn't hold a candle to my man here, if that is you erect then you qualify for the new nickname 'Pinky'." All the while I felt an inaudible, at least for humans, growl rumble through Edward's chest. I had put one of my hands right on his package and stroked him to keep him in place. When Tyler ran off, he told me that that hand had saved the boy's life, that my claim on him soothed him into mild anxiety. My poor mate suffered because he had to conform to his human façade and it had never been more difficult for him.

The other way around was also difficult. Most of the skank squad still tried to lay claim on Edward as one of their conquests. Luckily for Jasper and Emmett, they had given up on them. But the fact that the school freak—their words not mine anymore—had won the undivided attention of the godlike single new guy didn't sit well within their minds. I found that my instincts resembled a vampire's. That, combined with my insecurities, was sometimes hard to handle, but the unwavering love I felt pouring out of Edward kept me sane.

Jessica was the worst of the skanks, not only assaulting Edward in her mind unwittingly, but trying to make her nasty little fantasies a reality. Once, while I was working in the library, Edward was pretending to study in the back. Jessica came to harass me with her dim witted questions, but when she spotted Edward in the back, her object of obsession changed. Edward's face grew disgusted the moment she saw him; the gentleman in him quickly wiped his face. I shook my head; he should just keep looking at her that way, voice his disgust about her. He shouldn't be so close to rival females. HE WAS MINE!

He recognized my expression and smiled at me, his own claim in his eyes. When he was distracted, Jessica pounced; she hadn't said a word but suddenly she was in his lap. Before she could do anything more, she was sitting on the floor looking dazed and Edward was standing behind me, hissing. He had acted with vampire speed, simply standing up and unhitching her arms, dumping her on the ground, and fleeing behind his mate. He whispered in my ear that that was the way he handled succubi.

Jessica was seething. "What the hell, Cullen, you can't do that to me! You know I could be more accommodating than that freak show in front of you. I would gladly service you and you could take advantage of me as much as you like. I would only like you to shower me with gifts."

Edward looked disgusted again and this time the gentleman didn't erase the expression; he was as disgusted as the vampire was and spoke through clenched teeth. "Jessica, listen very carefully because my limit is reached, I will tell you this straight and only once. You are an ugly person inside; I don't look at anyone other than my Bella. I have been assaulted and violated all my life and you just continue that. You disgust me with your degrading propositions. So this is your only warning before I go to Chief Cope and the principal to file harassment charges. For every act you did, I have witnesses in my siblings and Bella, don't think you will escape justice. Love, I'll be in my car until you can join me." He turned around and let his hand linger a little on my butt before walking out of the library, leaving his books on the table. Jessica was now channeling her fury toward me.

"What in hell did you do to that poor boy; it's impossible that he would be devoted to you. You are worth absolutely nothing compared to me, and I can't understand that suddenly the most interesting people in school include you, and that suddenly all the boys fall over themselves to have you. You simply should be ignored and that is what I will do from now on. You don't deserve my attention."

She marched out of the library and I let out a big sigh of relief; if she kept her promise we would have some peace. Alas, that turned out to be false though. She ignored me all right but kept trying to seduce Edward on a daily basis. She didn't touch him again though, and that made it easier to ignore her than before.

The nastiest part to overcome in our relationship was the separation pain we both felt while being apart. Edward could function but that was all; his mind was reduced to a human's, the rest of the eight tracks were incapacitated with pain. I could only function on auto pilot; I had to set my tasks beforehand and write them down or memorize them before Edward left. Until he was approximately a mile away I was just sad, then the pain began. It felt as if my heart was missing and my lungs wouldn't function right. After a week of this, Edward stopped driving me over and stayed in the trees near Charlie's house when I needed to be there. We ran from his house to Charlie's.

I thought he just sat in the trees, waiting for Charlie to crash, so he could pick me up to go to sleep in his bed. After about two weeks of that he said he had a surprise for me. All his siblings had helped him to build an enormous tree-house between three big spruces, a good sixty feet up. It was luxurious and had three rooms on two levels, a bedroom, living room, and a bathroom. The siblings had dug the trenches for the water, electricity, and sewage lines. Access was only through climbing a fourth spruce and jumping a twenty-five foot gap to a platform which would only stay horizontal if you had the right remote with you. Other vampires would not be able to enter. I could only get there by vampire, and I was very glad Edward had to jump the river, a good fifty-foot jump, to bring me to or from Charlie's. I was used to big jumps already. Even so, the first time at that height I was terrified.

For Edward, the tree-house was his sanctuary away from me; it was situated at almost a mile from Charlie's house and that made the pain bearable for both of us. Furthermore, by carefully situating it, it was almost thought free for him. The closest house was Charlie's, all the other houses in the street were further away; his own house was about five miles away as the vampire ran. He was free from their noises and thoughts in the tree-house. I slept there when I had to cook Charlie's breakfast in the early mornings. My horrendous alarm was replaced by soft kisses to my neck and face. All night, every night Edward held me in his arms and he said he happily held me and meditated; listening to my heartbeat, he could exclude everything and almost sleep. He called it his Bella bubble.

Edward was not the only one of us having problems with his instincts; I wanted to complete the mating bond as desperately as he did, but my natural shyness and my regard for his struggle held me back. I had to say, though, that my sexuality had blossomed. Never before had I been more aware of my body in such a way. Whenever Edward was near, my panties were a lost cause; even my jeans were soaked through most of the time. It was completely involuntary; my nipples turned into signals to him and he could smell me every time. Whenever he said something sweet and took his next breath, he was aware of my response to it without me saying anything. Luckily, human scent receptors were less sensitive or I would have been red all day every day. As it was, whenever I had a really strong reaction to him I flooded my pants and my face.

The human males in my vicinity had become degrading but no longer bullying. That had, as a result, made the female population around me try to bully me more; their jibes became more and more insulting. My thick hide, built up by years of Charlie's abusive remarks, withstood their feeble teenage attempts at putting me down. Had my confidence not been boosted by the Cullens, and especially Rosalie, I don't know how I would have withstood it. I wouldn't have so much attention either though.

Rosalie told me her story, how bitter she became after the change toward everyone because her final human moments had been awful, to say the least. Thinking about how she was gang-raped and beaten until her life hung by a thread made my stomach churn. I understood her bitterness completely and I was very happy for her swift mating, only two years into her vampire life. The mating erased the bitterness inside because her destiny took over. She was still very bitter towards her ex-fiancé and his friends, but now saw that their actions had ended her human life and the possibility of having children.

She understood that Carlisle had tried to save her life first before he used his ultimate way out to save her. He injected her with his venom; the transforming power of the venom took care of all injuries and enhanced a human's natural beauty—with special attention to the word natural. Artificial enhancements like silicone boobs or caps on teeth were expelled during transformation. Rose had become a supermodel on steroids, as it were, but she hated her beauty for a long time. She saw it as the cause for her unfortunate demise.

As soon as she could let the bitterness go, when she mated with Emmett, she started to learn to use her experience to help others. A few nights a week she volunteered at an abuse hotline, where her Cum Laude Masters degree in Psychology and Social Sciences with a published thesis about abusive teen relationships came in very handy. Rose was the ultimate mental coach, and since the day I told my story she helped me overcome the years of mental abuse and give the scars a place so I could grow. She was elated with my decision to stay human until I had reformed my mental structure into something I could be proud of to step into my second life.

Because that's how I started to see it, becoming a vampire would be the start of my second life. I worked hard on my insecurities and was happy to say that I was now able to accept gifts, reasonable ones, without immediately becoming defensive and feeling like a charity case. My natural shyness was something that was cut up until the point it made me cower away; because of the shyness I became too easily embarrassed which made me cower into myself and act defensively.

Due to the everlasting mental barrage at home, I had started to believe some of the unfair qualifications thrown at me. I was utterly convinced about my ordinariness; I saw nothing but a plain mousy girl. Rose put me in front of a mirror and started to show me what she saw. I became completely mortified when she stripped me down to my slip and bra and outlined the strong points in my physique—a long list of strong points—to my embarrassment.

She started with my face, mentioning big, soulful,doe-shaped eyes; shiny-as-fuck, long, mahogany hair; full, pouty, kissable lips; heart-shaped face with high cheekbones. My body was slender but not a packet of bones, I had a flat toned stomach, medium perky breasts (which was what most guys preferred), endless strong legs, and to finish it all off I had a fantastic full ass. She finished the once over stating that every one of those things were as Edward preferred a woman to look like.

At my scoff, she told me she counseled him on and off too and had him describe his dream girl; he had obviously stated that he'd rather have her be ugly but sincere yet had given his preferences anyway. In a way he would never understand, because he didn't remember her clearly, he had described his mother. The picture Rose had sketched was seen by Carlisle and he was a vampire when he met them, so he had a perfect picture of her stowed away. Carlisle had been shocked to see a drawing of Edward's mother and asked if Edward's memory of her had become clearer.

I immediately despaired. How could I ever live up to the ghost of his mom? Rose was quick to eradicate that thought; I hadn't even said it out loud, she read it on my face. She told me in no uncertain terms that vampires in general, and Edward, the mind reader, in particular, were not interested in looks. Because beauty was part of being a vampire; it was a burden and one of their lures for humans. Personality was what counted in the vampire world. She was again quick to assure me that my personality was beautiful but a little snowed under due to the abuse.

Then she blurted out the biggest truth ever. "You, girl, are the other half of Edward's soul; that means no competition ever. He won't look at other women, and if you haven't noticed or heard this before, he never ever looked at another girl until you. He's changed dramatically since our first school day here. He was really lonely and subdued, holed himself up in that little study under water. To give us and himself a little privacy. He once tried to explain to me what the inside of his head was like on an average school day, how hard he worked to keep all those thoughts in the back of his head as a hum, but every time anybody thought one of our names, that person's thoughts would automatically be the focus of his attention.

"Quite unintentionally, but that's how he trained his brain to watch out for us. That also means that every fantasy about him is always attacking him front and center, and because most of them are so vile, he is unable to push them back into the hum. He may never react visibly anymore but we all see the disgust in his eyes. He feels violated by those thoughts, mentally raped, and I agree with him. He may never have had sex before, but he has been forced to watch himself over and over doing god knows what to those vapid bitches."

I interjected, "Rose, I understand you trying to make me understand Edward, but isn't that stuff private between you and him?"

"Oh, sorry, Bella, he gave me permission to tell you this to help you understand why he is so hesitant to consummate your mating bond."

I choked out a half-hearted laugh. "God forbid his Victorian upbringing isn't enough, he also has been traumatized away from sex. If I didn't already hate Jessica and Lauren just for their behavior, I now hate them even more for hurting my guy. Couldn't we get them removed from our classes? Edward already changed his whole schedule around to be with me every class. It won't take much to get them suspended; I think you all forget how observant I can be while sinking into the background… well, when I'm not attached to one of the most attention-attracting five in the school.

"Both Lauren and Jessica are stoners, big time. One or both are selling it too, behind the library and in the girl's bathroom. So maybe we should get pictures or video on them; I know Chief Cope would like that. I'm utterly convinced that those drugs are coming from the Rez, and Charlie's best friend Billy is running that show. But never mind, that's to think about later. I understand the road blocks thrown in Edward's way about giving in to his internal instinct to claim his mate. I also understand that I probably need to lose my insecurities and push a little, but I still think I'm insignificant. I know we are fated to be together, but I'm wired human and looks are important to humans."

I lost my train of thought then because Edward walked in: in torn and dirty jeans, a tattered black oversized t-shirt, and dirty sneakers. I ran over to him and jumped him, only to have him catch me and hold me away from his body with an apologetic smile on his face.

"Sorry, love, I've just hunted and I have to shower." He looked up to Rose and nodded.

"Edward," I said, "why do you wear high end clothes all the time?" He looked puzzled, confused even.

"I just wear what Alice puts out for me. The only clothes I choose myself are my hunting clothes, and those are all old for obvious reasons."

"Hmmmm, that's a shame, because I like the way you look now. No pretenses, fitting in with the small town crowd. I really wonder a lot about you saying you try to fit in, but your clothes, cars, and grace all make you stand out. Maybe dressing like this would minimize the brain attacks you suffer. Let me tell you, if you all had arrived in a second hand SUV with under the radar clothes—nice but not high end—I think you all sticking out like a sore thumb would have been a lot less annoying. I know you, Edward, are assaulted every first day because you can't shove back all the new voices yet. But wouldn't it be easier if you all didn't showcase that there's money in your family? We all know there is, but a family of seven living on a doctor's salary wouldn't have it in buckets." Rose and Edward looked at me as if I had two heads. Slowly, a big smirk crept onto their faces.

"Family meeting, tonight, all of us, and you're explaining this to Alice. It is too late for this round, but I want to try this next time. Because a family of eight living on a doctor's salary is even tighter." They laughed in unison.

"I'll go through my closet and tone it a bit down now too, Bella. I think it'll make you a bit more comfortable too. I can't go grunge all of a sudden, but more tees and less button-downs, and more jeans would work, I think." Edward pulled me into a hug, completely forgetting his shower requirement, and I was enveloped in the smell of trees, grasses, and his usual honey and lilac scent. He gave me a closed-mouthed kiss, and I tried to deepen it, but he pulled back, shaking his head. "Love, I still haven't cleaned my mouth, too much venom and blood in there."

"Um, Edward?" I asked. "Would you clean your mouth if I were a vampire already?"

"No, sweet girl, I would share the taste of my kill with you; it would be a sensual experience. But right now the venom and blood residue could be harmful to you. I would like to kiss you properly. Truly, I would, it's just too dangerous."

"Then go take your shower, and return to kiss me properly." Rose smiled at our banter, Edward flitted out the door, and I heard the shower in his room being turned on.

Rose stepped real close to me and whispered real soft; I was convinced no one but Edward was aware of what she said. "Bella, I think that when you become a vampire you're going to be the smartest of us all. You already are smarter than most of us, with the possible exception of Edward and Carlisle, but wait until you can process on eight tracks, girl, it's going to be sensational. Now, can you please turn some of that brainpower to self-empowerment? I blocked Edward so he doesn't know what I'm saying right now, but he will find out because I'm unable to stop thinking about ways of letting you see just how fantastic you are.

"Do me a favor. Every time somebody puts you down, empower yourself by repeating a few sentences in your head. One, I am worth everything I dream of. Two, I am loved by fantastic people so I must be fantastic too. And three, I stand above the jealousy oozing from them, I am the better person, I will go beyond their wildest dreams." She patted my shoulders and walked towards the living room, leaving me to my thoughts.

My photographic memory gave the three sentences a once over and I immediately felt stronger in myself. I yelled for Jasper to quit enhancing my feeling when Edward appeared in the doorway telling me that Alice and Jasper were not in his mind-shot, taking a private moment. That brought me up short; the only explanation was that mental self-empowerment was really powerful. I promised myself to use it diligently, and that I needed a private talk with Carlisle sometime soon. The whole venom idea was not sitting well with me. Edward and I French-kissed regularly; I had felt the venom inside my mouth. It healed little nicks and scuffs, Edward used it to heal them by applying with his fingers. I also knew that when pushed into a person through a bite or an injection that it would start the transformation; I wasn't ready for that yet. I just wanted a clear picture in my mind what would be too much, and, to be completely honest, if Edward's semen would trigger my transformation.

As a second line of thinking, my stories came into my head and just how damn prophetic they really were. In my stories, I never wrote about a three-day painful conversion, it was always gradual. How much of that could be true? Nobody but Edward had read my stories; they were now stashed in the tree-house safe.

Yeah, Edward had gone completely overboard on security; not even his siblings could come in uninvited. He would simply decide if they were welcome or not and Alice would know if he would raise the platform needed to enter the reinforced, vampire-proof house. She had tried to bully her way in to dress me, but it didn't work. He finally had someone more important to him than family. We loved them dearly, but we needed our privacy to get to know each other.

I was resolved, and I would be ready soon. If he couldn't muster up the courage to end this impasse, then I would be the strong one. I would go to Carlisle for information and I would make Edward give in somehow, preferably before my birthday in eight months.

* * *

A/N next week, Edwards inner struggle up close.

my recommendations for this week:

First, an old one which portrays Edward as THE original vampire. Fans already know which fic this is.

Eternally Damned by twiXlite FFn 5023928, TWCS Sid=5844

Secondly one of the best New Moon AU's I've ever read. Probably because Bella doesn't accept Edwards lies, and leaves him in the woods.

Serenity's Prayer by ladylibre FFn 7630525, TWCS Sid=7993

Twilesque is now available at FFn, FP, and Ao3

see you next week

Pien


	7. Ch 6 Frustrations under the Microscope

A/N All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, I just play in her pond, my splashes don't intend to cause copyright infringement.

Big thanks again to my mental support, beta, banner and pre-read team, the fantastic Lorraine Bubbleybear, Chandrakanta and LunaDiSangue85.

Now what has Edward been doing when he was away from Bella?

* * *

TWILESQUE

Chapter 6 Frustrations under the Microscope.

EPOV

I had never expected this: neither the euphoria nor the agony I was in were expected. I had expected the contentment and warm feeling inside, but the utter euphoria caused by the love my darling mate poured out over me was extraordinary. The agony could also fall in the extraordinary category, but the fight inside myself which caused it was devastating. My vampire self was chomping at the bit to claim its mate completely. My gentleman upbringing kept reining him in but was losing terrain fast. My most desperate argument to not claim her now was that I wanted to be married to her before we consummated our relationship. My vampire scoffed at that human way of thinking; he countered that consummating the bond was our kind of wedding and a lot more permanent than marriage was considered during this day and age.

This internal debate was a large part of the agony, but not all. Because we were not completely mated, somewhere inside myself something was insecure big time. It caused major jealousy and very possessive behavior—behavior I saw in my Bella too, by the way, only her mercilessly beat-down self-image kept her from acting on it.

Separation was another hard thing, but if I stayed within a mile it was bearable for both of us. Because of my vampire brain, I could compartmentalize the pain and stay functional, but because I knew it was at least ten times worse for Bella, I had to find a way to stay close and to be able to have her out of that hell hole she had to call home as soon as Charlie slept or left.

My siblings and I found a trio of Sitka spruces which stood in the middle of a clearing. All were about two-hundred and twenty-five feet tall; at sixty-five feet, the lower branches completely obscured whatever happened higher up in the trees. The clearing with the trees was a little less than a mile from Charlie's house, just within the safe zone for Bella's pain. Her separation pain started when I was more than a mile away; until that point, she was just sad and lonely. Not that I found that acceptable, but it was better than doubling over in pain.

Damn, I should just take her away, keep her with me the whole time. My girl wanted to graduate at the end of the year though, and her wish was my command. I had put in a little more effort to catch up to her, and so did Alice. Every Cullen kid would graduate at the end of the year.

I was starting to understand that Bella had a few silent protectors in the Cope family. They were too old to be qualified as foster parents so they kept watch and recorded everything. Chief Cope was in charge of Charlie's criminal record, his attendance, and his diligence on the job. Mrs. Cope kept watch over Bella's health and safety; she was overjoyed to see her making friends for the first time. Alas, she also had a big crush on me, but that made working with her easier if not uncomfortable. She was the one who confided to Esme how she and her husband kept watch and record. Deputy Swan was in for a rude awakening the day after Bella's eighteenth birthday. He would receive a summons to report to the station for a personal review. When he arrived, he would be summarily dismissed and arrested if they could get the evidence he was involved in more than just slacking on the job.

So the whole Cullen Clan was now scouring Forks and La Push for evidence. We already found two ecstasy labs in secluded cabins in the woods; the foul smell had cleared away a lot of the usual wildlife. The heavily used quad trails running towards those cabins gave them another suspicious trait. We touched nothing; we only took copious amounts of pictures. Pictures which were date stamped and saved on several different media.

The original memory cards were delivered to the Chief by Carlisle; in his capacity as coroner, he could officially gather evidence without loss of integrity. Carlisle explained the pictures as taken during hiking trips. Those little cabins reeked of Quileutes; somehow their smell was repulsive to us. Perhaps there was some truth in their legends—descendants of werewolves—yeah, right. Charlie's scent was nowhere near them, but the Quileute Chief was his best friend, and on certain days he would be adamant in taking the Rez to patrol. So, Chief Cope and us Cullens thought that he was allowing them to ship the drugs out. How to prove it though…

I was gone inside my head again while I was setting up the entrance to the tree-house. The only entrance was through jumping on a platform which could be put on a vertical to keep others of our kind from investigating. All the other sides were smooth as glass and covered in a transparent plastic, so even Emmett's tries to get in were thwarted. He hung from the side before I installed the second story and the roof, trying to get his fingers between the window and the siding, using all of his considerable strength, and failed.

The windows themselves were missile proof, just about the only glass which could withstand several blows of a vampire. The whole tree-house looked like wood but was actually made out of four-inch steel. I angled the roof and made it very smooth and with a big overhang, so no gutters were needed. We had the most comical time trying to get into the house through the roof. Jasper made some excellent military strategies, but he only got hold of the tip of the pyramid-shaped roof once before sliding down when he tried to get through the plastic-coated steel.

The whole house was airtight with an air-conditioning system like those in hospital clean rooms. The vents of the air-conditioning were hidden underneath the roof's overhang, making them impossible to reach when the extendable porch was retracted. That porch could only be operated from inside, except the front door entrance. Jasper and I had worked together on a remote with a rotating frequency, and not like the car ones that used only a few; this thing used over a thousand frequencies,more than enough to thwart unwelcome visitors. I had the only remote. And a spare one in my safe.

The linking up code was only known to me too, and could not be found from bouncing random signals at the base station. Only when the right code of a hundred and twenty-eight digits was sent to it would it check the infrared frequency and activate after sending it another access code. Jasper only knew about the infrared part. Yeah, I was paranoid but I wanted it to be a private haven for Bella and me, not a party place for the whole family.

The most difficult part was to keep everything from Alice. I had realized early on that having them help me build the house would mean them knowing everything about it. So, without making any decisions I thought of ways to keep them out. Some things I made decisions on because they knew I was afraid other vampires might run into the house and try to infiltrate. But keeping the two codes of the entrance a secret was imperative, so I used a random code generator and stored the number in my memory but never thought about what it was for. Then, on a day that Alice was thoroughly occupied by trying to find a way to shop with Bella without her freaking out, I assembled the whole door opening system, inputting the codes as a part of the process. That little decision slipped through nicely. From the tree-house, I could hear Charlie's thoughts just fine, so I knew when he went to sleep and then I could run to pick up Bella. We would really enjoy our little bubble there.

One day I was tinkering on my piano, composing Bella's song. It had been a long while since I played; because of my abused mind, the joy had gone out of my music. Esme had drifted towards me, thinking happy thoughts, when I suddenly doubled over. I didn't understand until Esme told me that Carlisle had taken Bella out of my mind shot. She had wanted a private talk with him.

Being the smart girl that she was, she had written me a note claiming me vehemently, stating I was hers and only hers and she was most definitely mine. All that before telling me to calm down because she wanted a doctor's conversation with Carlisle and she wanted her girl stuff as private as possible, feeling embarrassed enough that she had to tell my father. Then she soothed me again that it was not something hurting her, but natural for women to have checkups with their OB GYN, that she couldn't go to another doctor because of the simple reason they couldn't answer all her concerns.

I was a little hurt, because I, too, had two medical degrees, but she was right that those were only basic degrees without specialties. Esme told me that Carlisle was purely with her in his professional capacity, that he was already mated and had no designs on my mate. They had gone to the hospital to do some standard tests. She showed me Bella's written question to Carlisle to block his mind from me, and one for her to leave them in private for a moment. Later, she had handed Esme my letter and one to tell her where they went and why. The pain was overwhelming for me; I sincerely hoped that Bella had been thorough enough to write all her questions down or she wouldn't get everything answered. I was reduced in brain function to a mind-reading human. Two tracks still worked: one for the never ending thoughts, and one for my own.

It made me think once more about our half mated state, knowing it would ease up if the insecurity of that state would be lifted. The pain would go away; the intense loneliness would remain but would kick in at larger distances. My resolve to wait for our wedding night crumbled a bit more and I was glad that I had sought help with one of my cousins in Denali some days earlier—one of the sane, non-obsessed ones and an overall very good friend of mine. Because hell would have to freeze over before I would go with these questions to the one that invented vacuous women, Tanya. Her relentless sexual innuendos and blatant seduction attempts of not only myself but every mated male in our family was one of the reasons I never went to them anymore, much to the chagrin of my friend Kate. She and I could talk endlessly to perfect our languages, or talk music theory because Kate was very talented on the cello. Because of Tanya's obsessive behavior towards me, she just bombarded me with fantasies starring us both—frightfully accurate fantasies because she had once followed me to the hot springs and had seen me in my birthday suit—I texted Kate that I needed her discrete help on a sensitive subject and she texted back that she would go on a solo hunting trip, and told me to call her the next day when I was alone.

The tree-house was finished and I could now stay within Bella's pain boundaries, so when she was catching up on her chores and cooking dinner, I called Kate. She was overjoyed that I had found my mate, but frowned upon the fact that I had chosen to keep her human until she could move out of her father's. When I gave her Bella's reasoning for staying human she was awed. The fact that Bella had grasped all the details of what it entailed to change so well baffled her. Then I stuttered my way through my most embarrassing question ever: how to make love to my mate without harming her in any way. Kate was very realistic and understood that had I been able to blush, I would have been tomato red.

She answered me with one statement, _"Edward, the first time you will hurt her even if you don't want to. You're taking, and giving her, I might add, her virtue. This will entail a certain amount of pain." I sighed and she continued, "One big advantage of being a vampire is, though, that you are the painkiller for that pain too. Our body temperature will soothe instantly. I advise you to have her on top, to give her control, so you can't thrust too hard or crush her by forgetting your weight over her. Give her a few simple commands that are signals to you to ease up or stop completely. For god's sake, don't fret over a simple bruise, because humans bruise all the time during sex; even in human couples it's not uncommon. If you are flipping out over something that simple you will harm her more emotionally than you did physically. And most importantly, because she is your mate, you will get the urge to bite. Bite the headboard or your own upper arm or something. It has to be something like that because a pillow won't feel like substance; the mating bite will have to wait until she's changed. I don't think I need to give you pointers how to do it, because after a century of human and vampire minds to peek into, I think that your porn stash is varied enough. The only advice there is, throw out the vampire things you've witnessed. Especially those of my sister, because her body can't handle that yet. Remember that vampires can go all night, humans really can't. One maybe two rounds is the maximum they can take. Okay?"_

"Kate, thanks so much, do you really think I could do it without hurting her?"

_"My dear friend, you are unable to hurt her; she's your mate. But please listen carefully to her, and don't spring it on her as a surprise because there are boundaries you'll have to work within. She must know what they are, and you must set your embarrassment aside and discuss it with her beforehand."_

"Okay, this might be a bit out of your expertise, but do you think my semen injected into her body might be harmful? I ran some tests on the stuff and found it to be almost a hundred percent venom, some barely moving sperm, but those are in the tens and not viable so I'm not afraid of pregnancy. I'm afraid the venom will start the change."

_"God, Edward, I never thought of that and hadn't even begun to think about a pregnancy. The only thing I can say is that every human male I bedded up to ten times, and after I became a humanitarian, has survived with no side effects other than a bit of bruising."_

"Well, that topic is one for Carlisle then. I think I will go hunting with him. Or invite him to Bella's bubble, when she's at her father's."

_"Bella's bubble?"_

"Oh yeah, that's the fabulous tree-house I built for us, vampire proof and inaccessible without the remote key. It's within a mile from her father's place, to keep the separation pain away."

_"That sounds wonderful, but why do you call it Bella's bubble?"_

"Oh dear, the only way to describe it is that when I'm in a relative thought-free environment and concentrate on Bella's heartbeat, I can slip in a meditative state close to sleep. It's so soothing and calming."

_"Whoa, wait a minute, I never heard of something like that. Wouldn't her dreams keep you out of it? I mean, her thoughts keep it from being thought-free, don't they?"_

"Now we come into territory you can't divulge to anyone, not even Eleazar. Truly, Kate, you have to promise no trip to Italy until Bella is one of us for a few years, and absolutely no one outside of my family can know this." I was scanning the woods around me for unfamiliar thoughts: empty. And no family either.

_"Of course I promise; I'm hunting alone and we don't have an Alice, thank god. When I get back, just text me about some music theory way beyond any of their knowledge. I already deleted the other texts. Really, Edward, nothing of this conversation will be divulged to anyone."_

"Okay then, Bella will be some kind of shield when she changes. I can't hear her thoughts now. I think she will be powerful."

_"Good grief, your power is one of the most powerful I know of, and she's shielding you completely while human! Wow! I completely understand why you want to keep this a secret… You know, I just thought about some of the things Eleazar and I studied. Do you know about mate-enhanced powers?"_

"Excuse me? No, never heard of it."

_"Eleazar had a theory that mates enhanced each other's powers if both in the couple were gifted. He thought that the right couples could work together with their powers. For instance, a fire starter together with a water gifted one. We could never prove it conclusively because of the one big disadvantage, one of the couple would have to be human found and the vampire not only had to be the mate but also the sire. The second part is that the human had to be the singer of the vampire, which wouldn't be a problem until the change. As soon as the blood touches the tongue of the sire, the frenzy would start. That taste would send him or her into total irreversible bloodlust."_

"Wait a minute, if Bella was my singer I couldn't change her myself? I would kill her?"

_"Yep, the mating bond overrides the sense of smell, but not the sense of taste."_

"Glad you told me, because Bella is my singer. Damn, now I have to have Carlisle change her."

_"Hold on, you when do you need to bite her? Carlisle will simply inject her with venom, just like the rest of you. What says it has to be HIS venom?"_

"It could be mine, you're right. We're a long way from that, but please continue on the mate-enhanced powers."

_"Without a shred of proof, he knew of one such couple: Marcus and Didyme. Sadly, Aro felt threatened by their powers. As you know, Marcus sees the bonds between people, but just as an observer. Didyme could enhance them or sever them, much like Chelsea. The big difference between the two is that Didyme was Aro's older sister and his polar opposite in character. She refused to use her power to gain control. Through Marcus she could see which bonds to strengthen. Together they were working on a peaceful vampire world, much the same as Carlisle; when he lived there, they were great friends. But to get to the mate enhancement, Eleazar felt or saw, or however his power works, that they worked together not only verbally, the way you work with Alice and Jasper, but also through each other in some way. Alas, Aro decided his sister was a threat and had her killed while Marcus and he were on a mission with the guard. That was the end of his research."_

My thoughts flew through Bella's strangely accurate stories and found that her fairy and her heroine in the end became king and queen of the fairies because they were the closest team any couple could be. They had the most powerful magic available because they worked together. It could be true, but it seemed so unlikely.

"And he never found another couple that had those things in common?" I asked.

_"Nope, until now that is. I found another one."_

"Still, don't you dare tell him. I need to talk to Carlisle about this, and with Bella as well. Eleazar goes to Aro still with most things; I know that he communicates quite regularly with him. He even goes to Italy once a year; it's a wonder Aro hasn't found out about all of our powers. He would covet us above all others, try to bring us to Volterra and enslave us. He doesn't want to understand humanitarians, you know that. He calls our diet a waste, and our way of thinking abnormal. He doesn't know it but I have been in Volterra once, deep undercover, and always at about three miles from the throne room, red contacts in place. Did you know that Marcus drinks just enough human blood to keep his eyes red, but hunts animals like us? I don't know how he keeps that a secret from Aro—he wouldn't tell me—but I encountered him while hunting. We tackled the same deer. I asked Marcus about his feeding because around Volterra it's almost blasphemy to eat anywhere else than in the feeding room. He told me he went through the motions and sipped from his designated humans and then dropped them into the feeding frenzy of the guard. Somehow nobody notices. He gave me one trick to thwart Aro though, hide thoughts you don't want to share behind immense pain. So train yourself to put this kind of conversation away behind your memories of your change. I think there's more to it, because the blanks would give questions, but ever since then my memory structure has changed, I conditioned my brain to place my power behind my change. Every mundane thought entering my mind automatically files there. Be aware that Aro only sees long term memories, not every thought through your mind like I do. I'm real time, he's video"

_"So, when Aro reads a mind you get it all too?"_

"If it goes through his mind at that moment, he's becoming sloppy though. He rifles through minds, not storing everything or even reading everything. He's been doing it for such a long time that he thinks he's infallible. He isn't interested in human memories and stops at the change every time he comes to it. Marcus, in my belief, has soaked his brain in pain—the loss of his mate—and because Chelsea binds him to his brother-in-law, he can't leave. I hope he'll find Didyme again in her next incarnation, he would be perfect to take over from Aro."

_"Okay, you lost me again on that last one."_

"Oh, Kate, you'll like my Bella, she is so incredibly smart. Carlisle told her the story of Marcus as an example of a vampire who had lost his mate and gave up. Bella absorbed it all and came to the conclusion that killing yourself to be with your mate again was ludicrous because you just had to wait for his or her next incarnation. Soul-mates are eternal… I have to add with a bond like ours, moving into speculative territory again. Looking at our stories, we came to the conclusion that Bella was born for me, born with a subconscious knowledge of our world. You know as well as I do that not all human found mates are true soul-mates. True mates, certainly, look at Alice and Jasper. But soul-mates is a bond even stronger. Her whole life, Bella has had dreams about her fairy Prince Charming; her grandmother told her on her deathbed to write those dreams down. When she describes her Prince Charming she describes me… The only difference is my eye color. Can you guess what eye color she gave me in her stories?"

_"Wait, if you ask me like that it should be either totally weird or weirdly accurate. So I'm going for… let's see… Neither golden nor black… I'll go for your human color, green."_

"Exactly, it's like she remembers me, my human self. I feel all the changes inside me. My whole world has been turned upside down. No more loneliness, no more selfish behavior. She is my first priority. Oh, Kate, I wish you could come to visit. You are my only friend outside of my family I trust completely, and because you're female my anxieties won't go overboard. You would like her very much; I think she could best you at literature."

_"Really… But, Edward, I think I have to decline your offer for visiting before your mate is a vampire. Sorry, but I have two reasons. First, if I go and visit you, my sisters will want to come. I won't impose Tanya on your still human mate. That would lead to her being either shredded by you before something happened to Bella, or after and you being alone again until her incarnation comes along. And second, I think you forget her anxieties a bit. Don't you think that if I come along she would become a bit territorial?"_

"Yeah, you may be right, although I find it difficult to precisely gauge her state of mind. When the vapid bitch squad of the school is drooling over me, I think I saw some of it in her expression. You know the look, MINE…"

_"Yeah, that's what I mean, and that would be with females you're obviously not attracted to… need I say more?"_

"Nah, you're right. Maybe we could do something over the phone, the three of us just talking. I already told her about Tanya, I had to. My idiot of a brother thought it funny to blab out, asking if she could handle competition. I mean, she's been put down all her life, mentally abused by both her parents, the outcast at school. Everything that was said to her was either to put her down or out of pity. She rejected friendship before it was offered. It took both me and Alice each about half an hour before her walls would come down a little bit. Only after my story she lost them completely with us, but as soon as we are on school property I feel her shell settle around her and she turns into the girl afraid of her own shadow I first met. Really, one more stupid comment from Emmett and I'm going to take Rose up on her offer to make him a eunuch for a month. I will even store his parts here in the tree-house."

_"Rose offered THAT, wow; your girl must be really something if she melted the ice queen."_

"Hey, you know that Rose isn't an ice queen. She only puts on that façade because of your vapid sister. We have to keep her at a distance somehow. Rose is counseling Bella, to overcome her abuse."

During our conversation I had been monitoring Charlie's mind, and now I heard what I wanted: his mind blanking out in a drunken stupor.

"Kate, I would really like to set up some teleconference with you and Bella some time. I want to thank you for your advice and I hope to talk to you soon, but Charlie just blacked out and I'm going to get my girl out of there. Tell your family hello, but nothing more; when we're ready we'll invite you. Bye."

_"Bye, Edward…"_

* * *

A/N Well, it looks like our gentlemanly vampire is going to throw out his Puritan ideas to make his mate more comfortable. What did you guys think of Kate? I'm dying to hear all your thoughts on the tree-house.

My recommendations for this week:

Firstly one of the earliest fics I read, I lost it and recently found it again. Bella is changed by James before she came to Forks. Luckily her shield and her control are he same. She finds the animal diet just like Carlisle did.

Scheme of Fate by thebugroom FFn 5639554

And secondly a pre Twilight fic about Carlisle meeting The Detective extraordinaire Sherlock Holmes. This author has written several fics which play out before Twilight but could very well fit into canon. These little known gems are truly a joy to read.

Dr Cullen, I presume? By persephonesfolly FFn 5598412

Enjoy reading,

Please review,

See you all next week.

Pien


	8. Chapter 7 Transcribing Embarrassment

A/N All things Twilight are the property of SM, this plot is mine. No copyright infringement is intended.

A big appreciative nod to my fabulous team: Lorraine Bubbleybear, Chandrakanta and LunaDiSangue85.

Now, let's see what Bella was up to, in the hospital with Carlisle.

* * *

TWILESQUE

Chapter 7 Transcribing Embarrassment.

BPOV

I was so immensely glad that I had written down all my questions and that Carlisle understood that I couldn't retain the answers. The separation pain seared through me. Damn Edward's mind reading working farther than our boundary. This talk to Carlisle was very important; I had to know what to expect from a vampire when sex was involved. I understood that it was a powerful thing for humans, especially when true love was involved, but consummating the mating bond sounded even more powerful. Vampire emotions would crush a human, and the most powerful of emotions was binding yourself to your mate. I focused on the vampire doctor in front of me.

"Carlisle, I have a list of questions and some assumptions which I would like to discuss with you." I spat out the words through gritted teeth, my empty heart aching for my love. "I won't be able to recall this conversation, as you well know, so please write down your answers beneath each question." I gave him the notebook I prepared for him, with one question on top of each page.

"Sweet Bella, we can do this in another way. I hate seeing you in so much pain, especially knowing that my son must go through the same."

"No, please; I might be able to understand enough to ask a follow up if it comes up. If you just write the answers we would have to resort to subterfuge once again when I want to ask more. If I focus enough I might be able to think around the pain."

"All right then, let's set a brisk pace then to shorten the time needed and to force you to focus. Question one?"

"Do you think Edward will be able to overcome his assaulted mind?"

"Rose and I have spoken about this, and while his human side might have some scarring the vampire side of him was never affected. This might make it difficult to gauge. One thing is absolutely clear though: he wants to make you happy, with both his human as well as his vampire side. If he was pure vampire he would have claimed you the moment he laid eyes on you." He wrote down every word he said while I listened. "He has retained his humanity the most out of all of us; I lost a big part because I was alone in the beginning and didn't know how to save it. But being alone for so long had me harness what I could about it.

"Okay, back to his violated mind, that strong humanity inside Edward is bruised, battered, and beaten again and again. He doesn't want the vampire to take over because he would kill those vapid girls for assaulting him. With you, my girl, his vampire is salivating and forcing him almost to do the deed. That's where the separation pain comes from. You two are bonded for eternity, but you already understand the anxiety without truly mating. Can he overcome the mental assaults? I think he can. He has a crystalline brain that works like a computer; he will have to password protect the part where he stores those experiences—lock it away. I know that in a human, some things may trigger memories. With a vampire it works differently, lock it away and it will only come back if you consciously recall it. So the simple answer to your question is, yes, easily."

"Good, next page second question. How strong are his Victorian beliefs in comparison to his vampire nature?"

"My dear, you have put some thought into this, haven't you? Let us see, his ingrained nature, which was solidified when he changed, is that of a young gentleman of the early nineteen hundreds: to court, spoil, and pamper his lady friend. In his mind, he can't think of you as his future wife yet, because he hasn't proposed. In that world he would ask your father for permission to marry you. This won't be as easy to put away as those vile assaulting thoughts, because it's part of him. A vampire, on the other hand, would never do that; marriage, to a vampire, is ludicrous because they don't follow human traditions. As I said before, his vampire side is screaming at him, throwing tantrums and attacking his control every minute of the day. His claim is incomplete, he could still be thwarted, lose everything. You have to understand that politics rule the vampire world. To give into a more powerful alliance can overrule the wish to mate. Power is what motivates a pure vampire the most. We are different because we mate out of love, not for power. Our ruling coven, the Volturi, live for power. So much so that the one couple of the three of them that mated out of love was scorned and ultimately Aro, the leader, destroyed his own sister because she was mated out of love.

"I told you about Marcus. His mate was Didyme; she was Aro's biological sister, as Caius is Marcus' brother. The whole family, including the in-laws, was changed some six thousand years ago, give or take a century, to rule over our world. It is believed they once answered to the original vampire, but this history lesson can wait until your man is at your side. Mulling over this question, I think that you should ask Edward to marry you. I even will go with you to the jewelers to pick out a ring for him. He, of course, will say no, because that is simply not done in his gentleman's brain, but he will then know that you will accept his proposal. That will follow soon after yours, if not in counterpoint to it. I know he already carries around his mother's ring, because that has never left his person since his change. But to finish my thought, I think that even if you wait to marry until you're eighteen, that the promise will soothe his gentleman enough to free his vampire."

"God, you're devious, Carlisle. Do you have his ring size? Because I need a beautiful ring for my man. But could I do the shopping online with Esme? I think that's a mother's task. Take him hunting tonight; I will convince him to go, to keep the pain limited to the same day. And somehow I think he needs to talk to you alone too. All right, question three. How can I help him to regulate his strength during intercourse?" Of course I turned bright red while reading that question out loud.

"Please don't be embarrassed, dear. I am so proud you have put so much thought into all of this. I'm going to be blunt; that's the only way this will work. Okay, first of all, I think you must be the one in control as much as possible. That means you on top, he pretty much has to lay there and take it. When he grips too hard, you'll need to have a simple word or phrase that will cut through his frenzy to calm him down. That you absolutely need to agree upon before you get into it. You both will need to put your shyness aside and talk it through, decide on your safe-words and have him ingrain them into his vampire side, because it will be the vampire mating who has to understand that his mate is fragile. The frenzy is instinctual and will occur, no matter what. Second is the mating bite, he will need to bite something, something hard, preferably his mate's neck, but that's out of the question until you are changed. So, when he is near his climax you'll have to guide his mouth away from your neck and towards something hard, his own upper arm or a bite ring for instance. Again, this is something you both need to decide upon in your talk."

"Okay, a bite ring for my baby. Question four, I think condoms won't work due to the venom, but will I need protection, either from pregnancy or the venom?"

"Condoms will dissolve the moment they come into contact with venom, so they won't work at all and I know that Edward has done some research into the viability of vampire sperm; apparently it isn't viable at all. The spermatozoa are killed by the venom, or at least incapacitated; their count is very low also with all four males he tested. Yes, my dear, we all helped him with his research. So, to my belief, pregnancy is out, won't happen, impossible. But will his venom inside your womb be dangerous? I don't think it will trigger the change if that's what you're asking. Will it have another effect on your system? I don't know; the only stories I know of about male vampires with human found mates, the women are always changed first, with mating taking place afterward. I do know incubi, male succubae who seduce human women, exist, but those encounters always end with a dinner party for the vampire. The seducing is just to release certain chemicals into the blood, making it sweeter to drink, so no survivors there; I simply don't know. I'm wracking my brain to find a way to test it."

"Carlisle, couldn't you use some kind of animal to test this on? I mean keep a pig in a pen for some time and inseminate it daily with vampire semen? And I chose the pig because that's what they use in forensics to mimic humans. Afterwards the pig could be dinner for one of you."

"Pig, yuck; sorry, Bella, any sort of domesticated animal is almost as bad as eating human food. But we could corral some does… You know we do that every time we change someone. That way we don't endanger stray humans with a savage newborn. I'll talk it over with Edward tonight."

"Okay, I know that the venom will only start the change as it is introduced into the bloodstream in large enough quantities. Edward has healed some of my scrapes with it. It's amazing what it can do. But how much venom does it take to start the change? I mean, I bite my cheek almost every other day, and Edward kisses me every day; sometimes I feel a little tingle in my mouth where I had bitten it. Does it accumulate in my system or does it break down? I will stop all pushing boundaries if this will start my three days of burning suddenly."

"Again, slightly unknown territory, but our cousins in Alaska were succubae and still love to play with human males. Now that they are humanitarians, their conquests live to tell the tale, and most of them come back for more. None of them accidentally changed all of a sudden, so that might be a good thing."

"That leaves only the last two things; one is my period. That's always been really bad. It's coming up and I know Edward will freak out at me in that much pain. Could you please prescribe me something? And second, will I need to abstain during my period due to the fact that I'm actively bleeding in my womb? I mean, venom and open blood vessels; wouldn't more venom be absorbed then?"

"You say your period is coming up, that means I can give you the shot after it. It will regulate your period and stop the heavy cramping. For this period I can give you some painkillers. As to the second part of your question, abstain is a big word. But you're right that you might want to avoid penetration on those days. I won't go into details what you can do, but remember our preferred food source and you might have a very excited boyfriend—sorry, fiancé—during the days of your menstrual cycle."

I turned deep red and felt my blush cover my whole body. "God, Carlisle, I never even thought of that one. You've got a dirty mind, Dad. Do you need blood work done for the shot? Do you want to give me a physical, because I think this is your only chance to touch me without Edward freaking. Don't think I didn't notice him being anxious even with you three mated males."

Carlisle was still transcribing this whole meeting while talking to me when he suddenly stopped and looked me deep in the eyes. He studied me for some time, taking deep breaths through his nose. His concentration unnerved me a bit. His eyes stayed the same color, so I knew it had nothing to do with him wanting my blood. His concentration broke and he smiled.

"You, young lady, are perfectly healthy; you're right to expect your period in a day or two. The only thing I can detect is a little anemia, but that we are already treating by feeding you regularly. I think that you were a little undernourished before."

I sat there staring at him with my mouth hanging open. I tried to say something but I only succeeded in imitating a fish. Nothing came out of my mouth. Finally I was able to form a coherent sentence. "I… I see… Vampire doctors should be everywhere; it would save so much time and money on tests."

Carlisle burst into laughter and said, "I do believe that it would also reduce the numbers of patients significantly because I'm the only vampire immune to human blood. Believe me that my sense of smell and my enhanced vision are a big help in diagnosing. I have to play the human doctor though, and order all the tests accordingly. With you I can rely on my senses which will appease my son. My scent will only be on acceptable and agreed upon places on your body: your hands and maybe your shoulders, because if the pain had become too much I would have held those to comfort you, while calling him here to erase the pain. Believe me when I say that you are closely monitored by my son, and not only if you're happy but also your health. He is able, for the first time, to use his senses to diagnose somebody, because his bond with you erases his bloodlust. Now let us return home. Oh, just one more thing; he will want to see my memory of this conversation. Do I have your permission to show it to him?"

"Of course, Carlisle, at least everything which isn't about my proposing to him. Please lock that bit away."

We rose and walked out of the hospital; I wasn't pain free but I found a way to focus through it. I was very glad that the separation didn't manifest itself as a headache, because those were impossible to focus through. This heartache I could now shove aside if necessary; it took some pretty hard focusing but it worked. Carlisle was a gentleman too; he opened doors and gave me his hand to help me into the car, but he touched only my hands, as he had said. I noticed he would like to hug me like a father but refrained. I should put that on my list of things I needed to talk to Edward about, because he was asking for accidents if his brothers were not getting used to my scent. I noticed several times already that he almost glared them out of the room when I was there. Emmett I could understand, the blundering giant was not used to be around humans and didn't have the inclination to try to be careful enough not to hurt me. Edward was more worried about Jasper; somehow he lacked control. According to Edward it was because he was the last one to completely stop drinking from humans.

He was a humanitarian for a long time; he drank human blood but didn't kill or change anybody since he left his sire, a particularly vicious female who was one of the ringleaders in the southern wars. She had been terribly upset that Jasper, her second in command, had had enough after fifty years of carnage. He just couldn't stand the emotions of his victims any longer. He left Maria and learned to control his bloodlust to a point. When he knew he could mingle with humans without draining them he started to work in a mental hospital, or asylum as they were called then. He was in charge of bloodletting, carefully storing the blood away for later consumption.

That was where he found Alice and knew he had found his mate. He cared for her in the asylum for a few months, all the while researching where she came from and why she was there, because no charts were being kept on her and she was known only by her first name. He overheard a phone call one day from one of the doctors to a Mister Brandon. The doctor confirmed to Mr. Brandon that his daughter was erased from the system and would die in shock treatment later in the week. Mr. Brandon shouldn't be afraid of his witch daughter any longer and nobody would miss a little girl from the asylum if no records were ever there in the first place. The last sentence confirmed for Jasper they were talking about his mate. Little Alice would not survive the shock treatment; her body was too small to cope with that amount of current. Jasper was infuriated; the so-called doctor would, without blinking, electrocute a little girl because her father was afraid of her little gift.

He decided then and there to change her that night. When the doctor left the building, Jasper went and drank all of the blood he had stored. He needed to be fully sated to be able to change her. He took her far into the woods for privacy. Alice was sixteen and a powerful clairvoyant. She knew what was happening and was glad to be free of her human bonds. When she woke up from the change, she had a vision of the Cullen way of life. That became their goal; she never hunted humans or drank human blood. The only regret she had was the fact that the only humanity she remembered was through Jasper's memories. Her mind was a blank slate when she woke up, only Jasper was there and she understood their bond immediately, instinctually. Because he had survived on human blood for so long, Jasper had difficulties adjusting to animals. Or that was what the Cullens believed.

I didn't; I had listened carefully to Edward and Jasper talking about their gifts. Edward had explained to me that he could hear the thirst of others in his mind, and that he needed to lock that away to keep his own thirst under control. Luckily, human thirst was something completely different. Edward called it part of his control. Jasper never thought about the thirst of the others, he simply reacted to his own. He told me how his gift worked; it was based in his brain and he was able to physically influence humans and vampires. He felt everything around him and had said he often didn't separate his feelings from those around him. That was his weakness, I believed; I hadn't spoken about it yet but intended to do so soon.

While this went through my brain, Carlisle had driven us home and the pain subsided halfway down their driveway. A second part of my brain had worked through everything we had talked about and most of that was what I had deduced from earlier conversations. Edward stood on the porch and flashed to the car, running at my side until Carlisle parked the car, his hand pressed to the window next to me. He had missed me as much as I had missed him. He threw the car door open and lifted me carefully out of the car. I cried a 'thank you' to Carlisle and a 'talk to you later' to Esme and we were gone. Edward shifted me onto his back and seconds later we jumped the river. He was taking me to our bubble, the tree house. He scaled the entrance tree and jumped to the platform. He finally slowed down when we were inside.

"Frantic, Edward?"

"Love, is everything all right? Nothing's wrong, is there? You aren't feeling sick?"

"Edward, slow down, babe. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I needed some questions answered by a professional, someone without ulterior motives, and someone who won't tease you about your forward girlfriend. So I couldn't go to either of your sisters, because they would blab to their mates and your brothers would tease you to death. My second motive was that I wanted to test if I could focus through our separation pain, and I'm proud to say that I did. I was able to compartmentalize it and push it aside."

"Oh, baby, I'm so proud of you. Esme almost threw me out because I couldn't concentrate. They are not used to me thinking like a human, on one track only. Well, two technically, one for outside thoughts and one for my own. But I'm babbling. I have thought long and hard, literally…" he said, smirking, "and called a very dear friend for advice. We should talk about the upcoming consummation of our mating bond." He whooshed out and by the look on his face he was completely mortified. Well, lookie here, no need for my proposal. I would get a beautiful wedding band for him anyway, but the pressure was off. He came to me, when I was planning to go to him. Perfect.

A lot of things went through my head: how to start and how to do this properly. I hoped he had the same concerns I had; that way we could compare notes. The notes were a perfect way of talking this through with a minimum of mortification. I hadn't wanted to record the meeting because he could have overheard while I listened to it. Carlisle had obliged and transcribed what we said word for word. So that's what I did, I gave him my notebook.

* * *

A/N oh I know, they are going to compare notes. But THE lemon is coming closer.

My recommendations this week:

First a AU Edward vs Jacob fic. The primary focus of the story is on the mating bond, but it's very different from how we know it to be. Throw away all your previous knowledge of twilight but the basic things. Then start reading.

A Choice by Bexie25, FFn 7684971, FP under Bexie25

Second, a alternate BD fic, where Edward and Bella go to college after isle Esme, happily exploring their sexual relationship.

Getting Warmer by eiluned price, FFn 5499346, TWCS Sid=3634.

Last, a O/S where Bella finally puts Charlie in his place

Charlie Pushed to Far by bobbismomma, FFn 8351645

see you next week

Pien


	9. Chapter 8 Comparing Notes

A/N all things Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer, I just play with it without intending any copyright infringement.

Another big thank you to my back up team, Lorraine Bubbleybear, Chandrakanta and LunaDiSangue85

Well, we might as well dive right into the embarrassing conversation.

* * *

TWILESQUE

Chapter 8 Comparing Notes.

EPOV

When I spilled my mortified sentence about our upcoming consummation, I saw a lot of emotions flicker on her face, finishing with a satisfied grin.

"We should both rid ourselves of our mortification, Edward, because if we keep that in place, then we will both die of it before we get anything done."

She was right, of course. And apparently taking control because she fished her notebook out the little backpack she had with her.

"First, Edward, are we family thought free?"

"Yes, nobody's thoughts in here but my own," I said, tapping my temple.

"Good, now I asked Carlisle's advice on several things related to this topic. Do you want to start and let me fill you in, or do you want to go over this together and you fill in what you got?"

Looking at the notebook, I saw a few lines in Bella's script and the rest of the page in Carlisle's neat hand.

"God, Bella, he transcribed your discussion while you were there?"

"Yes, I wasn't sure I would be able to think through the pain. This was my safeguard. Oh, give it here." She ripped the book out of my hand, turned to the next page and took a black permanent marker out of her bag. She blacked out several lines in the transcript, carefully reading it all. Blacking out some more a bit lower, she then turned to the last page and blacked out a few more lines. "Sorry, honey, some things have to stay a surprise. Now you can read it all. Please don't try to read the indentations, even though Carlisle hardly leaves any. Must be a very good pen he uses."

I read her first question regarding if I would be able to overcome my assaulted mind. My breath left me in an audible whoosh.

"Love," my voice cracked, "you really thought about it all, didn't you? Oh, darling, I hope so. I don't want it to stand in our way."

"Read on, vampire of mine, Carlisle knows how to do it."

I read the rest of the page and indeed he did; it worked a bit like the trick I learned from Marcus, only this time the thoughts would be sealed away and inaccessible in any way, only through a conscious effort by me would they resurface. I immediately went to the space where the thoughts of others were stored behind the wall of pain from my transformation, and created an extra vault there, one with the same one hundred and twenty eight digit code as the remote of the tree house. Rifling through the immense mountain of everyday thoughts, I found every vapid bitch of the last century and threw them all into the vault. I created a one way funnel on top for the ones still active or in the future.

While this was happening in my head, I had read Bella's second question and I was again flabbergasted. She had taken my struggle apart and identified the separate parts. Quickly reading the transcript, I was left without Carlisle's advice to her because it was blacked out. I didn't need it though, because I had already pushed the gentleman aside. Firstly because I would never ask the man-unfit-to-be-called-a-father for her hand, and secondly because my vampire side had simply won the battle. Kate had me convinced it could be safe.

"My darling girl, I am pleased to say that my advisor told me to boot the gentleman to the curb and focus on the safety side of the act. To put it crudely, I need to shackle the wild side of the vampire."

"Ooh really, do I get to shackle you?" she teased with an excited expression but a severe dose of sarcasm in her voice.

"You, my dear, are my jailor; you own me, I am yours completely. But, knowing you, I think I know the next question you asked Carlisle because it flows from this one. Your question three was my question one. Kate was kind enough to…"

She interrupted viciously. "KATE! You talked to another woman _alone_—an unmated woman—to compile your whatever!" Her anger sizzled out and she started to shake. I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me.

"Honey, I talked to her on the phone. I know my sisters told you about the Denali sisters after Emmett's stupid remark. They told you about Tanya's obsession with her track record, and Irina's vicious streak. They are right that those two belong to, if not invented, the vapid bitch squad. Then there is their biological sister Kate, who is intelligent, funny, and loyal. Besides my siblings, who have teased me to death about guarding my virtue, I needed a true friend, someone I could talk about anything with, knowing for sure that whatever was said was said in confidence so I texted her that I needed a discrete conversation.

"She went hunting alone and I sat here while you were at Charlie's. I wanted her to come over, to meet you, but she properly predicted your reaction and told me to ask her again when we were ready, as in properly mated, maybe even waiting until after your change, because when she comes this way we need to expect their whole coven. I want to be able to hide behind you when Tanya comes anywhere near me.

"We found that you and I have some very interesting characteristics in our bond. Carlisle already talked about the soul bond. Kate told me about a theory she tried to research for Eleazar: mate-enhanced powers. From that I learned one important and life saving point. Because you are my singer and my mate I don't feel bloodlust at all, but if I tried to change you the traditional way, which I intended to do, I would be overcome by it. The sense of taste is not blocked from the bloodlust, only the sense of smell. I cannot bite you until you are immortal. I will change you by injection, but with my venom. To make it clear, Carlisle already has several syringes of my venom in his office. Every member of the family knows how to get to them. If anything happens to you, and the choice is change or die, they will change you…" I shook my head to get that picture out of my head.

"Dearest, I would never be alone with an unmated female vampire right now, not because I couldn't resist, but because of the impropriety. Kate has saved me from Tanya at least a dozen times; the first time was when I really needed alone time. We were all living in Denali before Rose became one of us. After five days of endless sexual assaults on my mind, I had finally had enough and ran from the house. I was, and still am, the fastest and I lost them pretty quickly. I thought I was safe, but I didn't cover my tracks well enough. I was sitting buck naked in a hot spring, clearing my mind, when I suddenly got scattered thoughts from Kate like she was fighting on the edge of my range. She wanted me to know something and somebody else tried to keep her out of my range. I had been stupid, because when I looked her way, I saw her fighting with Tanya. The bitch had been watching me, hoping my mind would switch off, or I would become distracted. When that happened she was ready to pounce.

"Sadly, since that day her assaults only became more painful because she had seen me disrobe; luckily, she only saw my backside. But to see a fantasy as if it is a memory—that clear and precise—is really painful; it truly is rape. The good thing was that Kate used her power on Tanya; she shocked the hell out of her. Tanya was completely out of it for three days, three blissful thought-free days. Kate dragged her to some dirty cave and left her there, and she left me in my hot spring alone. She made sure the cave was within my range so when Tanya woke up I could hear that and get out of there."

"Edward, if Tanya is such a pest, and everybody knows it, why does she still walk around? Sorry to say it so crude, but I would rip her legs off and ram them up her cooch and ass, then I would set fire to her." She shocked me with her vicious defense of me.

"Bella!"

"No, really, Edward, she can rape your mind, she almost got into Emmett's pants with her succubus ways. Hot damn, she even tried to seduce Carlisle! They haven't told me but I think she must have tried to get to Jasper, too. What is wrong with her? And when is enough, enough? If I understand mating the right way, then once you're mated that's it for flings and things on the side. She must know that, so why try to come between mated pairs? Damn, they all have human found mates; that indicates true mates then and there. How dumb is she really? I can understand the bitch squad here in school, you all are hot things, but she's a vampire. She should know better, and to bombard your mind with those so-called fantasies, if it didn't work the first time, why in hell would she believe it would work after eighty years? I understand you don't want to file charges with the Volturi—that would bring to much attention to your power—but can't you destroy her yourself?"

I thought about it and could only think of one reason why I didn't do it.

"Bella, while this is way off topic, I'll try to answer you. I have played with the idea of simply ripping her to little shreds, but one thing stopped me. If I did that I would lower myself to her level. I took the high ground and ignored her. I worked out a way to communicate with Kate without going to Denali. And to bring us back to topic, I made that vault in my brain. It has a one way funnel on top; any and all thoughts which constitute an assault will now automatically disappear into it. They won't bother me anymore."

"Oh, that's great! And yeah, let's get back on topic. Kate is a good one, and she advised you to do what?"

"Well, I asked her if we could have… sex… without me hurting you… and she told me some really down to earth things. One, that I couldn't have sex… with you the first time without hurting you because that's part of a girl's first time. She also told me that me being a vampire is the cure for it too. Uhhhh… The uhhh… cold pack to the sore spot?"

Oh my god, could I become any more pathetic? My words wouldn't flow and I felt completely mortified. I stared at my twisting fingers and raked them through my hair a few times. Finally I became still while I pinched the bridge of my nose.

A soft warm hand landed on my cheek and I leaned into it, my eyes still closed. "Sweetie, that wasn't too bad, was it? I know it's going to hurt the first time. Can you tell me what else she told you? Or would you rather read what Carlisle said to me?"

I couldn't move, I just couldn't shed the mortification. Her thumb caressed my cheek slowly, lovingly. I knew I had to acknowledge her, so I leaned into her a bit more, shifting on the bed to be closer, but I still couldn't speak. I think she understood; she understood that even though I wanted to kick the gentleman to the curb, he was a part of me.

"All right, Edward," she said, "Carlisle told me to be in control, to be on top, for you to lay there and take it. So I have to deflower you, not the other way around." She snorted and continued, "Furthermore, we need some safe-words, words that would trigger you, so that I can slow you down or stop you. You have to help me here, because these need to be words that trigger your instincts to listen to me and not the frenzy." That shook me out of my frozen state.

"Frenzy? Whatever are you talking about? I'm not going to taste your blood, Bella."

"No, silly, the frenzy a vampire can lose himself in when he mates for the first time." She laughed really loudly. "Carlisle even advised me to get you a bite ring, something I can put in your mouth when you want to bite me."

"Actually, my dear girl, that's all pretty much the same as what Kate told me. She lectured me furthermore on not sweating a few bruises because even human couples bruise when they have sex. That is, to me, the hardest part to reconcile in my mind. That I could hurt you, that you would have my handprints on your flawless skin."

"Love, that would be you marking me as yours. Look at it that way. You can't bite me, but you can possibly mark me."

I looked at her in amazement; even Kate hadn't thought of that, probably because Kate only had had sex, not mated. All problems with bruises were suddenly flying out of the window; now I _wanted_ to leave a bruise or two.

"You're absolutely right—oh wow—now you certainly will have some bruises. Oh, love, this way of looking at it lifts all my worries about them. Bruises don't hurt too much, do they?"

"Oh, you silly vampire, you should see your face right now, going from troubled to Christmas come early." She ruffled my hair and left her hand there, softly scratching my head. I picked up a lock of her hair and twirled it around my fingers. We got lost in each other's eyes, our foreheads resting together. I angled my head and slowly brought our lips together. It was the sweetest of kisses to begin with, but Bella's fingers found their way into the hair in the nape of my neck.

If she only knew what that did to me; I let my tongue sweep over her bottom lip, asking for admittance. She opened her mouth instantly and my tongue began a dance with hers so enticing I felt something shift inside me. The gentleman stepped back and the vampire took over; he immediately tangled one of his hands in her hair, cupping the back of her head. The other hand slid over her curves and came to rest at the small of her back, pushing her even closer to me. Her heated center was pressed on my thigh. I was sure she felt my arousal pressed to hers as well. When she ran out of air my lips travelled over her delectable neck, over her pulse point to her collarbone. Bella was gasping for air while moaning at the same time. I captured her lips again in another mind blowing kiss, then I slowly created a little distance because my gentleman was now screaming about safety in my head, that our talk wasn't finished. I chastely kissed her lips a few more times.

Finally I whispered, "Safe-words? I don't know the frenzy Carlisle is talking about so I don't know what would cut through to stop me."  
"Something simple then; remember, you're on your back and only guiding me lovingly. I think that position alone will help you a lot. So, what about 'easy, Edward' to slow you down, and 'no, stop now' to stop you cold. I would use those now if you ever forgot your strength."

I tried to put those commands somewhere in my brain to make them have the required effect, but because I absolutely had no idea where I would need them I struggled. Finally, I put up two large traffic signs right in front of my vampiric instincts; that should work. "Okay, done"

"Good, now I heard that the male members of your family helped you with some research." Oh god, Carlisle told her about my experiments. Could this get any worse? "He actually picked up an additional idea from me. Because I don't know what your venom will do in my womb, I thought about forensics, and the way they use pigs as a stand in for humans. To take a sow and inseminate her multiple times over a period, to see if it works accumulatively to eventually trigger the change. He said that pigs are vile to drink but he would think about corralling some does."

For the love of all that's holy; Carlisle the mad scientist with his equally mad sidekick Bella. "Sorry, Bella, but no, simply no. I had to know if I had to worry about pregnancy, and yes, my mad father and brothers found out and gave samples, all while laughing their asses off. I know enough about the workings of venom to say this, when you're not actively bleeding it will become a sticky residue without harmful properties. The venom loses its viability when exposed to air. We have my venom in vacuum sealed glass and stainless steel containers, which can be loaded into a special syringe. It reacts with red blood cells to activate the change, starting by healing all imperfections, and expelling foreign bodies, as you already know. Kate has knowledge by experience about humans reacting to venom when exposed repeatedly in a non-invasive way, and she swears that she never had somebody start the change suddenly."

Bella cringed at the scientific language I used to describe Kate's involvement with human males. "Sorry, love, but not all non-mated vampires are as virtuous as me. Rather the opposite; I'm the freak here."

"Don't. Put. Yourself. Down. If I'm not allowed to wallow in self-pity or condescend myself, then you aren't either." She picked up a pillow and swatted me with it. I was amazed at how fast she was growing into a really self-assured woman, assertive towards me, taking control in this truly mortifying conversation. It was like she glowed from happiness; I was happy that I was the cause of that happiness.

"All carefully worded crap aside, I got your meaning. Last topic on my list. It was on there because I needed advice from a doctor about my period." I had to switch to the medical part of my brain to stave off any more mortification.

"Your period. What of it?"

"I always have had severe cramping the first two days, so I wanted Carlisle's advice on how to minimize that to keep you from freaking. He has given me painkillers for this time, and afterwards he will give me the shot. That should help until you cure me of it altogether. He gave me a warning and advice about it. No penetration during, and other ways of play could get interesting."

"Holy F…" I stopped myself just in time; I never thought my father to be so forward and open about oral. No penetration was logical with an active bleeding point during those days. But could I, should I, go down on my girl during those days? The thought was intri… NO. "Uhh… Bella, do you remember what I told you about me changing you? About not being able to stop myself from draining you due to the taste, which is not exempt from the bloodlust? I think it would be dangerous to try that."

"Oh my god, that slipped through, and Carlisle doesn't know that bit of info yet, does he?"

"That would be a no; I've been with you ever since my call yesterday until you spirited away with Carlisle this morning. Oh… Charlie is home… Well, that's the best kind of news we've received in a long while from him…"

Charlie's mental voice, as vile as the man himself, cursed up a storm because he thought Bella was working at the library again and he wanted her to make a mountain of sandwiches to take with him to the Rez, where he planned to be for the coming week. He had been ordered to go undercover and was gloating they gave him the job. He could help his friends out big time that way, all while getting paid to go fishing. He changed out of his uniform and loaded his gear in his ancient truck. And then he was gone… no note, nothing to Bella informing her where he would be.

"He's gone for the whole coming week. He has gone fishing, while pretending to be undercover to smoke out the drug ring."

"What do you think, is Chief Cope keeping him out of the way?" Bella asked with a shrewd look on her face. "You all took those pictures and gave them to him, didn't you?"

"Oh, I think you got it spot on. Carlisle also let it slip that you overheard Charlie on the phone talking about keeping the highway clear for them. Of course he couldn't say that I heard it in his mind."

"Hey, it might be an idea to bug the house. That way, whenever he blabs we have it recorded."

"The only shame is that for those recordings to be admissible in court a sure suspicion must exist. Otherwise, no judge would give a court order to randomly bug a house. We might, however, use a nanny cam ruse; we gave you a nanny cam to record his abuse, to give us legal grounds to have you emancipated. That would be a big one if we put a tap on the phone, too, to record Renee's abuse."

"It's all a bit iffy in my book, and I won't subject any of you to listening to hours of vile language to filter out the criminal acts. When I turn eighteen I'm gone, and will leave Charlie reeling."

A look of sheer determination shone in her eyes and my heart warmed a bit more towards her. How in the world was it possible to love her even more? It might not be too long before my heart burst out of my rib cage from holding on to that love.

"Edward?" Bella said in a sing-song voice. "To go totally off topic but a rather strange fact keeps bugging me. How can it be that you vampires talk about the smell of food items, as a part of somebody's scent, and call them delicious—like the strawberries in my scent—but when we are talking about the things themselves you find the smell atrocious." Well, I'll be damned, how did she find all the little strange things in our existence?

"Uhh, I don't know, Bella, never even realized it." I took a deep breath through my nose and smelled the almost agonizing sweet scent of strawberries and freesia in the background, and all around her was my scent of honey, lilac, and linen. Yeah, also a food item there: honey. Thinking about it didn't clear it up; I actually shuddered while thinking about the raw scent of honey. "I can't find an explanation, it is just so. Your scent of strawberry, freesia, and cranberry delights me. But when I think of a strawberry, I almost gag. The same for the honey component in my own scent. It is a mystery we will put on the list of mysteries still to be solved by the Cullen brain trust. You're part of that brain trust already, sweet girl, did you know that?"

"Mmmm, you know, maybe the scent of a person reminds you of how you originally stored the scent?"

At the same moment she said that I heard Alice's thoughts from across the entry tree. _'Edward, you have to come to the house; we have to plan the next week.' _All the while she was stamping her feet on the platform.

Bella looked up and said, "Well, only one vampire can be this noisy. Why don't you let Alice in; I know she has to be bombarding you mentally." She heard that? Now I had more to think about while I pressed the button to lower the entry platform and open the door for Alice. I decided that I underestimated Bella again, and Alice was probably louder than I thought she was. After all, since I met Bella I was more distracted, or should I say more singularly focused than ever before.

* * *

A/N I'd like to thank you all for the great reactions to my story, we've passed 200 reviews this week. So I'd like to recommend some more great fics to share them with you.

first this week an older New Moon AU, the divergence in this one takes place at the moment of their reunion in Volterra. This is as close to what I'd like Eclipse to have been.

The Courtyard by latessitrice. FFn 5542641, Ao3 under the pen name LaTessitrice.

secondly another fic of browneyes fanfiction, this one is an alternative backstory Twilight. Bella and Emmett are biological siblings, but when Rose carried off Emmett to become a vampire, his mute, baby sister is changed by James. She escapes him and has to keep running from him for almost eighty years.

Brother Bear by 2browneyes. FFn 6932219, FP under browneyes fanfiction

Thank you all for reading

Please review

Pien


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